Chapter 19

Back to chapter menu     
Chapter 18      Chapter 20

The cottage was a bit nicer the next morning. It added some flower designs on the walls and a prettier bouquet for the table. 

Everything felt cheery, even if it was simple. 

Psyche got up and served herself breakfast; a small bowl of porridge.

She noticed, for the first time, she was still wearing her wedding dress and it was beginning to smell. All of the changes and differences of this world had distracted her from basic washing and grooming. 

Fortunately she found a basin and a pitcher full of fresh, clean water. That at least could serve to wash her hands and face. 

But where could she wash the rest? 

She would usually go for a bath at the palace. Here in the cottage, she needed to think like a villager. 

What did the villagers do? 

She recalled seeing children bathe towards the back of some houses, their mothers pouring water over them and scrub their skin clean. 

But she had never witnessed the adults bathing. 

She decided to venture outside and explore perhaps somewhere she could do a more thorough wash. She determined to wash her dress and undergarments too. 

As she emerged from the cottage she noticed the garden had reverted back to something more windy and slightly overgrown. 

She explored further and was happy to find that not far from the cottage was a large pond. A table with a bathing cloth stood ready for her. 

“Thank you,” she said to the table and the pond. 

The pond rippled slightly in response. 

She started to undress, but caught herself, feeling self-conscious at being naked out in the open. Trees soon appeared, giving her a sense of privacy.

“Thank you,” Psyche said to the trees.

They happily widened their branches and leaves for an extra touch.

She undressed and stepped a toe into the water to check the temperature. She was surprised to find it a perfect balance of warm and refreshing. 

Eagerly stepping in, Psyche let out a deep sigh. As she glided lazily through the pool she noticed that, unlike other ponds, this water was crystal clear and wonderfully clean. 

She swam and floated in the water for a time. 

It was wonderful. 

Satisfied, Psyche emerged from the pool and wrapped herself in the cloth from the table. 

Then she examined her dress.

It didn’t look too dirty, but she figured a dip in a pool of water would freshen it as well. 

Psyche didn’t know exactly how to wash her clothes, but she’s seen it done enough times. Well, she hadn’t really paid attention. Something about putting clothes in water and rubbing them against something?

Psyche looked for a rock. 

A rock appeared beside her and she submerged her clothes in the pond. To her surprise, as she pulled the clothes out again, they dripped a glowing clean. It was as if the dust and dirt had simply floated away. Psyche imagined the dust feeling happier to live in the pool than in the fibers of her dress. 

Quite marvelous!

Apologizing to the unnecessary rock, Psyche squeezed her clothes of excess water and started to make her way back to the cottage. She could stay in the cloth towel a bit longer as her clothes dried in the sun. 

Upon approaching the cottage she noticed a clothesline ready for her.

Psyche felt spoiled. 

And a bit guilty. 

As much as she was trying to make meaningful contributions to the required labors, this world still made everything so easy. 

With her clothes dripping on the line, Psyche decided to find a spot in the shade near the house to sit and enjoy the peace for a while. She went inside to get one of the chairs to sit on. 

It was heavy.

Dragging and pulling, and occasionally having to stop to adjust the towel, Psyche managed to get one of the chairs out of the house. She scanned the nearby trees to select where she would like to sit. 

It was then that she noticed a sitting area already arranged in a perfectly shaded clearing. 

Psyche couldn’t help feeling foolish. Of course this place would already have a sitting area the moment she wanted it.  

She sighed and pushed and pulled the chair back into the house. 

She emerged again, sighing with the breeze that touched her sweaty face, and made her way over to sit. 

Feeling a bit hungry, Psyche took a detour to pick a few berries from a nearby bush. 

She eventually sat and looked up at the clear blue sky. 

This was the life. 

She sat for a while, enjoying the beauty of everything.

As her thoughts turned to the flowers, she noticed they opened more blooms.

Psyche smiled. 

“We all want to be appreciated and admired, don’t we?” she said. 

Everything answered with a swish or a nod. 

Psyche felt so much love and appreciation for everything around her. 

Aphrodite could punish her like this as much as she wished. 

Psyche got up and checked her dress. 

Still a little damp. 

She went into the cottage to get a bowl so she could pick more berries. She gathered her fill and sat down again, this time on a bench. 

Psyche ate and then laid back and looked up at the sky. It was so vast and blue. Soft clouds billowed and she imagined various shapes; a little hen, a puffy fish.

Psyche eventually closed her eyes and in a moment was asleep.

She slept peacefully, dreaming of flowers and sunshine. She explored her dreamworld and noticed a large dark spot on the ground. As she stepped closer to understand what it was, she found herself falling into a hole, darkness enveloping her. She tried to reach out for something to stop her fall, but she just kept falling. 

Psyche braced for impact. Just as she imagined she was about to hit the ground, she jolted awake.

It was dark.

She didn’t realize she had been asleep for the rest of the day. 

“What are you doing out here?” he said.

Psyche sat up, catching the loose towel and pulling it up higher. 

“I must have fallen asleep,” she said. 

“Would you like to go inside, or would you like to stay out here?” he said. 

She wasn’t sure. 

The outdoors at night in her world were usually filled with biting insects, but in this place she wondered if it might be different. The air felt cool. She couldn’t feel any fluttering against her skin, no humming in her ears. 

“It is peaceful out here,” she said, taking in a happy breath.

“True,” he said, sitting down next to her. 

She couldn’t see him. Even outside, it was totally dark. 

Not a star, not a shimmer of light sparkled. 

“Why is it so dark? Even outside?” she asked.

“So we can be together,” he said. 

“Oh,” she said. 

“How did you enjoy your day?” he said.

“It was lovely,” she said. “I managed to bathe and wash my clothes.” 

“That’s nice,” he said. 

She couldn’t tell if he really understood how wonderful it had been, but it didn’t matter. 

“You know, you can have different clothes if you wish,” he said. “Apparently you haven’t given much thought to what you want to wear, otherwise you would have had a variety of clothes by now.”

She thought for a moment. It was true, she usually focused on the fundamentals of her appearance. Her sisters had been so obsessed with their own, she usually let them bother with picking things out and instructing the attendants on what to give her. 

She hadn’t put much effort into herself. 

That did make her suddenly conscious that she was naked under her towel. She pulled it more tightly around herself. 

“Are you cold?” he asked.

“No,” she said. “But it does remind me. I left my clothes drying near the cottage. I’m not sure how I’ll manage to find them in the dark.”

“You really don’t need them,” he said. 

“Oh, I guess not,” she said, uncomfortable at the thought of staying in the towel.

“But –” he added, “I can get them if you wish.” 

“Yes, please,” she said. 

Within moments she could feel cloth up against her hand. He seemed to have resumed his seat beside her on the bench.

“Why do you feel the need to wear clothes at all?” he asked. “It’s not as if anyone else is really here.” 

“You’re here,” she said.

“True, but I’m your husband,” he said. 

That’s right. 

How could she forget?

Psyche added another reason to be grateful she had ended up with this monster for a husband. According to her sisters, men only wanted one thing and they didn’t want to wait. 

This husband was different. 

She also needed to stop referring to him as a monster. He certainly wasn’t. 

“I’m not used to being so immodestly dressed,” Psyche said. “As a princess, it wouldn’t be appropriate. As a woman, it doesn’t feel comfortable.”

Psyche pulled the clothes in her hand up to her chest, as if they might provide an extra layer of protection. 

She’d never been naked in front of anyone except the attendants and occasionally her sisters. Her sisters were more confident with nothing on. With them, though, it was always a competition of size and shape. She usually made sure to remain covered even around them. 

As to love and marriage, well, Psyche was especially lost. 

She had been taught that princesses were supposed to marry for advantage — for duty. While that hadn’t stopped Cydippe from daydreaming about private interludes, Psyche hadn’t. To her, it hadn’t felt like something she had any control over.

Sitting next to her husband in the dark, in a towel, clutching her clothes, she started to wonder. What would it be like to enjoy a passionate embrace? A gentle kiss?

He had already kissed her, but it had felt more comforting and familial.

Weren’t lovers supposed to be passionate? Cydippe, of course, always talked about rapture and pleasure and — whatever else she said. 

“Should I escort you back to the house?” he asked, breaking the silence. 

“No,” she said. “I think we should stay out here.” 

She liked sitting next to him. 

“Okay, then,” he said, putting something around her shoulders. “You can wear this robe.” 

He took the clothes from her hand as she settled into the robe. It was light and perfect for the outside air. She brought it around her and reached her hands out for her clothes again.

“Do you really need these?” he said, hesitating to return them to her. 

“What? You don’t like my dress?” she said, almost laughing. She didn’t care either way.

“It just doesn’t suit you,” he said. 

“Really? And what does suit me?” Psyche asked. 

“Something else,” he said. 

She detected some emotion in his voice. 

“Are you annoyed?” she said, feeling curious.

“Well, yes,” he said. 

“Why?” she said.

“Because,” he said. “I can’t understand why you would want to hold everything back, want to keep it from reaching its full potential. The house doesn’t have to be a cottage, the bath doesn’t have to be a pond. It could all be so much more.” 

“Are you saying I’m holding things back?” she said.

“Yes,” he said. 

“You mean the house would rather be a palace?” she said. 

“Well, not necessarily. The house is a manifestation of its creator, which is you. With that logic, I suppose it wants to fulfill your desires. It wants to be what you want it to be,” he said. 

“Oh,” Psyche said, frowning a little. 

“Psyche,” he said gently, “I’m not trying to say your creations aren’t good. I just know what things can be like. I’ve seen other possibilities, other potentials. 

“I feel like you’re settling for less and I don’t understand why.” 

“Because I don’t need more,” she said. “I don’t need fancy things to be happy and to reach my potential.” 

“What if you do?” he said.

“What do you mean?” she said.

She felt him leave the bench as he tried to explain.

“I have mentioned that I already know you, though you don’t know me. I’m sorry I can’t explain how, but I just do. 

“Having known you for some time, I’ve noticed there are moments when you are confident and beautiful. You shine and you bring calm to the chaos. 

“Take the story you shared from yesterday. It was a perfect example of your potential. You helped people find a better way. 

“But I noticed that with certain people, you let them take charge and tell you what to do. 

“The Psyche who lives in a cottage is the Psyche who is limited in her power and ability to effect change. She considers herself of simple wants and of simple abilities. She’s content. She’s humble. 

“Humility is not bad. In fact, humility is what can give us great power. There are times I wish the gods had more of it. But, unnecessarily lowering yourself, a fool’s humility, and you become the servant. You invite unwelcome masters to rule you.”

Psyche tried to take it all in. 

“I’m happy to serve,” Psyche said, still processing his words. “I don’t mind being the servant and letting others lead. Why must it be that I take charge and tell people what to do? Why must I be the master?”

“Because you always do what’s right and good. No one else should lead unless the other master is your superior,” he said.

“There are many who are my superior,” Psyche said wryly.

“No,” he said, urgently taking her hand and forcing her to stand. 

She stood for a moment unable to see through the darkness, but feeling him close. 

“No, Psyche,” he said. “There are few who are your superior. Very few see what you see. Even fewer can do what you do.”

Psyche looked down, feeling uncomfortable.

He lifted her chin back up towards him.

“I love you, Psyche. There is no other woman I have come to admire more, no one else who has changed me as you have,” he said. “You’re different. You’re worthy.”

She felt his lips on hers.

She kissed him back, still in a daze by everything he was saying. 

He was gentle, but more passionate this time. She felt like he was holding back, yet still trying to show her how much he cared. 

He loved her. 

Being loved sparked something within her. He seemed to understand far more than any mortal man understood. He was kind and accommodating, patient and wise. She felt like of anyone she’d known, he was the most open and easy to talk to. He was sincere and didn’t seem to have any deceit in him. 

He released her and she stood for a moment, instinctively reaching out to steady herself. 

He took her hand. 

“Psyche, will you let me?” he said. “Will you let me show you your worth? I know I said we could live in this cottage, but seeing you settle for less is more than I can bear.”

It was clear from his words that he really did love her; cared so much for her. 

“Of course,” Psyche said. “Of course I’ll let you show me. I’m sorry to be so selfish.”

“You’re not being selfish, Psyche,” he said, pulling her to him again. “You just don’t know who you are, don’t know that you’re settling for things far beneath your privilege. You’re letting guilt and doubt keep you in this crude existence.”

She leaned against him. 

“I don’t understand,” she said. 

“I know,” he said. “Just let me show you. Let me show you how powerful you can be.”

Back to chapter menu     
Chapter 18      Chapter 20