Chapter 12

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Psyche had been to Aphrodite’s temple many times. 

Well, mostly with Cydippe. 

Cydippe loved Aphrodite and regularly visited the Goddess to make sure she showed gratitude for all of her many blessings. 

It was a big and beautiful temple. Both of her sisters had been married there. Psyche had been considering having her wedding there too. 

She had also considered the temple of Demeter. 

Demeter seemed nice. 

Or perhaps the temple of Hera? 

Psyche left the palace courtyard and made her way to none of those temples. 

She was going to the temple of Apollo. 

Psyche didn’t like Apollo’s temple. It wasn’t Apollo’s fault. He was an amazingly powerful god who brought light, music, healing, prophecy, and so much more into the world. 

But, it was through His oracle that the people came to know the will of the Gods. 

And there wasn’t always good news to share. 

Or a good man to share it. 

Perhaps because of Apollo’s great power, His oracle had become both respected and feared. In turn he had become a little too proud of himself. 

He had certainly made it clear that he didn’t like Psyche very much. Most of his dislike started after Psyche’s shrine was built. 

Psyche had learned to give Apollo’s oracle plenty of “space”. 

Now, she was on her way to speak with him. 

She didn’t know how much he would be willing to visit with her, but given her position in the kingdom and the hefty box of jewels she carried with her, she doubted he would refuse to see her. 

Attendants surged forward and bowed as Psyche climbed the steps of the temple. 

What an honor to have the princess visit!

Their warm welcome calmed the butterflies in her stomach slightly. 

Psyche followed the attendants to a more private section of the temple where she could enjoy quiet contemplation while they summoned the oracle. 

What should she say? How could she even begin to frame her question?

Why can’t I get married? Am I meant to stay single? Remain a virgin to serve the Goddess Athena or Goddess Artemis? 

She could think of worse things than spending the rest of her life as a temple attendant. 

Psyche sat for a moment. 

It was surprisingly peaceful in Apollo’s temple. The high ceilings created a calming blanket of cool, crisp air. 

She sat with her eyes closed for some minutes, resting in the holy space. 

She could imagine herself enjoying work in a temple like this. 

Why not? 

“Princess Psyche? You wanted to speak to me?” a voice said, interrupting her thoughts.

Psyche opened her eyes and looked up at the oracle.

He seemed taller than she remembered.

Or maybe it was just that he was standing and she was sitting. 

Psyche stood with a jerk and extended her gift to him.

“Thank you for seeing me,” Psyche said. 

“Shall we sit?” the oracle said, accepting the payment. He made it disappear within the many folds of his layers of robes.

Psyche looked down at the bench.

Had it really been that easy? He was willing to talk to her?

Psyche sat. 

“What is it you wanted to talk about?” the oracle said. 

Psyche tried to compose herself. 

“I — I wanted to ask,” Psyche said. “What is the gods’ will for me?” 

“Why ask me?” the oracle said. 

“You are the most powerful of the oracles, serving the god Apollo, god of prophecy,” Psyche said. “It would make sense that I come to you to know the will of the gods.”

The oracle tried to hide a grimace. 

Psyche frowned. 

“Do you already know?” Psyche said, concerned. “Have I displeased the gods?”

The oracle thought for a minute. 

“I would be honored to ask Apollo whether you have displeased any of the gods,” the oracle said. “But I wonder. Do you think you have displeased them?”

Psyche searched for a possible reason. 

“I admit nothing immediately comes to mind,” Psyche said. 

Then she thought of something. 

She looked at the oracle and wondered whether she should say it.

“What?” the oracle said, seeing her face change. 

“It’s nothing,” Psyche said, trying to think of something else she could say. 

“I’m interested,” the oracle said. 

He was interested? 

Psyche looked intently at the oracle. He held her gaze. 

This was clearly not the same oracle who had been cold and harsh to her all these years. Something had changed in him.

Maybe. 

Maybe it was worth talking to him. 

Psyche took a breath. 

“Remember when you denounced me as a false goddess?” Psyche said, bracing herself for impact. 

“Yes,” the oracle said, awkwardly. “And?” 

Psyche blinked, surprised that he didn’t say more. The oracle would have never let such an opportunity of superiority pass by. 

Maybe he had changed. It had been some time ago. 

Taking heart, she continued. 

“Well, it does come to mind that perhaps you were right,” Psyche said. “Well, thinking about it, I know you’re right. I am no goddess, nor have I ever pretended to be. But the people often search for an explanation for things, and somehow they’ve given the credit to me.

“Could that be the cause of the anger of the gods? That I’ve been worshipped and been given credit for their blessings?” 

“Why have you been given credit?” the oracle asked. “Would you say you have allowed yourself to be worshipped?”

Psyche found it odd that his questions didn’t sound like an accusation. 

She thought for a moment.

“I was so young when it all started. I’m trying to remember,” she said. “I had always taken an interest in helping people and people brought little things to say ‘thank you’. I didn’t want to turn those precious tokens away. The early ones were people I knew well. 

“I think people talked and the whole thing just grew so big I — I didn’t know what to do.” 

“Things have grown to a considerable size,” the oracle said. “Didn’t we celebrate you in the recent festival?” 

Psyche winced. 

“That wasn’t supposed to be about me,” Psyche said. “Well, it was at first. I mean, the idea came about because we couldn’t figure out what to do about the difficulty of finding someone to marry me. The festival was just a way to attract more suitors.

“But I tried to change the festival into a celebration of something else. My sisters were convinced that by keeping the festival about me, we would be able to attract a better suitor.”

Psyche felt ashamed. The festival hadn’t done anything of worth and probably made her look even more proud and blasphemous in the eyes of the gods.  

“You seem sad,” the oracle said. 

“I am,” Psyche said. “I feel so foolish.”

“Are you sad because you didn’t get a suitor?” he said.

“No, it’s not that,” Psyche said. 

“So what is it?” he asked. 

It was so strange, having a candid conversation like this with Apollo’s oracle. 

Perhaps she had been wrong to have kept her distance all these years. Perhaps he could have helped her know what to do. Maybe he could help her now. 

“I just wish — I wish I had done something. I wish I had been strong enough to push back and refuse the worship. I wish I had been smart enough to point people back to worshipping the gods, where true worship belongs. I wish I hadn’t gotten so swept up in everyone’s eagerness for visitors, in entertaining everyone, in people’s needs, in the troubles and heartbreaking stories. I wish I had refused to go along with this whole ridiculous thing,” Psyche said. “I wish I had done things differently.” 

The oracle considered her for a moment. 

“What do you wish for yourself?” he said. 

“Me?” Psyche said, surprised. “I don’t know.”

“If you could,” the oracle said, “what would you do to fix the current state of things?” 

Psyche shook her head. 

“I don’t know,” Psyche said. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.” 

“Well,” the oracle said, rising. “Perhaps we should start by asking Apollo. He will certainly have some answers. I’ll bring your troubles to him and send word to the palace when He answers.” 

“Thank you” Psyche said, also standing.

The oracle gave a polite bow and left Psyche.

For a moment, Psyche wasn’t sure what to do. The conversation had not gone at all like she thought it would. She had expected a lot more bowing and scraping, a lot more coldness and hostility. 

The oracle had been so easy to talk to. 

And now it had her thinking. 

What could she do to change the way the people worshipped her? 

She hoped Apollo would have some ideas.

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