Virile King

This week on The Side Chat, the girls are running away from home and straight into the unsuspecting arms of Mitt Romney. Kris poses a classic question: what would you do if you won the Powerball (a whole HALF A MILLION DOLLARS*)? But it turns out, that’s hard to answer when your dreams have already come true—namely, scoring a no-contact selfie with your favorite local politician in a Walgreens parking lot after years of manifestation. From there, the ladies dive into a piping-hot SIDE CHAT about a playdate payment plan that always ends in nonconsensual pizza–in the morning, in the evening, and yes, even at suppertime.**

*This math doesn't math.

**The Bagel Bites legal team has asked us to clarify that due to recent pizza hour ordinances, all persons, entities, or sentient snack enthusiasts shall cease and desist from interpreting the presence of pizza on a bagel as conferring the unfettered right to eat pizza “anytime.”

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