Waking Up to Abuse: How to Recognize It and Begin Healing with Lindsay Abernathy (Part 1)

Key Takeaways

• Abusive relationships often follow the same predictable cycle—love bombing, devaluation, isolation, and intermittent reinforcement.
• Survivors often stay not because they want the relationship to end, but because they desperately hope the abuse will stop.
• Even small “repairs” (like a crumb of kindness) can keep survivors hooked, similar to a slot machine’s intermittent rewards.
• Children benefit profoundly when even one parent provides a safe, secure, and loving environment—even if only part-time.
• Leaving abuse allows survivors to rebuild their identities, reconnect with their support networks, and show their children what safety looks like.
• Abusers often store survivors’ vulnerabilities in a “vault,” later weaponizing them—this is not a reflection of your worth but of their manipulation.

Resources & Support Mentioned

• National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233
• If outside the U.S.: Search for your local domestic violence hotline. If you cannot find one, message Dr. Kelley via her website and she will help research for you.
• Bitch is a Bad Word Podcast: Available on Apple, Spotify, and all major platforms
  
  Follow Lindsay Abernathy:
• Instagram: @bitchisabadwordpod
• Community Line: Call or text 331-BITCHES to connect or share your story
   

EPISODE LINKS

Dr. Amelia Kelley: About | Dr. Kelley's Books | Instagram