Episode 3: Help! How do I work with my siblings while we manage our parents?

Sibling dynamics can be tricky - no matter how loving or estranged you are. Then add in kids, aging parents, living across the country and having to make some big, real-time, decisions together as you begin caregiving for your loved ones. Holy shit - it’s a lot. 

In this episode, we welcome Lisa Frank, Robyn’s sister to the show. The Frank sisters talk candidly about the complexities in navigating care for their aging parents, while managing their own families and being sisters. From living states apart, to dividing and conquering and overcoming our own bullshit to focus on their parent’s wellbeing - we talk about it all. Eliesa also chimes in with some perspective on being an only child and we share some insights on how to support one another - and our parents - while being siblings in The Sandwich Generation. In this episode we let the emotions flow, because this is real life!

Takeaways

How to show up for your siblings while caregiving:

• Build your “Cabinet”, either with your siblings or with trusted family and friends who you can get advice from in making all of the decisions. 
• Also, build a “Cabinet” of your parent’s friends who can continue to reach out and support them. 
• Divide and Conquer with your siblings - and recognize what each other’s strengths are.
• Talk about your boundaries and triggers with your siblings.
• Check in with your siblings - how are they doing in their lives? How is their mental health?
• Above all, put your own bullshit aside and focus on the wellbeing of the loved one you are caregiving for. 

How to show up for your peers who are in The Sandwich Generation:

• Send a text checking in
• Delivering some groceries for their parents 
• Having a visit with their loved one
• House cleaning - for your friends, for their parents or loved one. 
• Offer to help with simple house projects for their parents or loved one. 

Chapters

00:00 Navigating Caregiving with Siblings

01:11 Introducing the Frank Sisters

03:04 Build your Cabinet of People to Help

06:11 Taking Care of your Parents while living in different States

09:52 Feeling Guilt

11:02 Being on the same page with your sibling

16:27 Setting an example for your children

19:04 Stepping up for your sibling when they need it most

21:52 Setting boundaries and noticing triggers

27:08 Showing up for our friends who are Sandwiched

28:20 Our parents need their friends too

31:50 Checking In with your Sibling

35:16 What are you most proud of each other for?

41:30 Being an "only" child and raising "only" children

47:39 Real Talk Segment