WHY EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON IS GASLIGHTING DISGUISED AS WISDOM

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In this episode of The Restart Academy Podcast, I'm calling out a phrase that makes me absolutely furious because it's so damaging to women going through divorce, yet it gets thrown around like it's profound wisdom.

If you've been told your divorce "happened for a reason," that there's a purpose in your pain, or that you should be grateful for this experience because it's teaching you something, this conversation is for you.

I'm Temi Samuel, and as a wellness coach who went through my own devastating divorce over a decade ago, I've heard every version of this toxic phrase. From "God has a plan" to "everything is a lesson" to "this is making you stronger" - all designed to make YOU responsible for finding meaning in someone else's cruelty.

🎧 In this episode, we explore:

• Why "everything happens for a reason" invalidates your right to feel pain
• The different variations of this phrase and how they're all harmful
• How this saying protects others from your discomfort while silencing you
• The difference between "earned meaning" (what you create) vs "imposed meaning" (what others force on you)
• Why some things happen for absolutely no reason except human cruelty
• What actual wisdom sounds like instead of spiritual bypassing

Here's what I need you to understand: Sometimes terrible things happen to good people for absolutely no reason other than the fact that they encountered someone willing to be terrible. That's not a cosmic lesson - that's just the shitty reality of human existence.

Your healing doesn't require you to find meaning in meaningless cruelty. Your growth doesn't depend on being grateful for trauma. And acknowledging that life can be random and unfair doesn't make you negative - it makes you honest.

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  The Restart Academy Podcast provides educational content and personal experiences. This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy, legal advice, or medical treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to appropriate professional services in your area.
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