Mindset: How to Enjoy Life

Hello there and welcome to a PhD Mommy's mindset. I'm your host Bri, your bestie, who also happens to be your biggest fan. I am a scientific researcher, a self-proclaimed time traveler, qualitative storyteller, who uses science to guide you along your journey of maximizing your potential. Don't worry, I won't leave you hanging. I'm going to make sure that you are never alone. My job is simple. I'm here to help you understand one thing. You have exactly the tools you need to redefine your life and change it how you want it to be. How many times have you searched for something, tearing the entire house upside down and still can't find it? How frustrating is that? What's even more frustrating is that when you have completely given up looking for it and your mom tells you it's okay, we'll find it, then it magically appears within minutes.

Maybe that's just me. It's okay that you are upset with your life since you have acknowledged and accepted that you are unhappy with your life. My next question to you is, what are you going to do about it? Are you willing to keep living and feeling this way? If you have made the conscious decision that you are going to stop letting your thoughts control your actions, good. Deciding and taking action is usually the hardest step because our mind gets overcrowded with all of these negative self-talk constantly screaming and echoing in our head. I'm here to help you slaughter those voices and completely annihilates and silence them. It's going to take some work, but oh, will it be such a sweet victory? How many times have you been afraid to speak to someone, raise your hand in class or even express your opinion in a meeting?

I know I have so many times. I read this amazing book called Un-f yourself, and I used the chapters as a framework along with other research studies and information related to the science behind mindset. I applied principles to my life and I've decided to conduct a personal experiment. This podcast series will be used to document my experience along the way and provide valuable information in hopes that you become emboldened to change your mindset. More importantly, I hope that I empower you to blaze your own trail. You know that quote, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Where do you think those lemons came from? From you? I'm here to help you pick up the seeds that will become the lemons you will use to make lemonade, lemon pie, or maybe you don't like lemons. That's fine. 

Someone close to your desk. You never know when someone will need a nice cold glass of lemonade and you are the only one who has the lemon they need. Think bigger, change your perspective. You can't change your mindset. You are not your thoughts. You are your actions. Oftentimes, our brain does its best to protect us, based on how we think and act. It's a way of survival that was useful when we were hunter-gatherers. Fast forward to today's day and age. It is a very thing that holds us back, but why? Why is our mind so powerful that it can cause our heart rate to accelerate, sweat drip from our hands on an event that has not yet even happened? Sometimes our mind is so powerful that it stops us from reaching our potential and going for what we want. The answer is simple, negative self talk. 

We are either having a conversation with ourselves or we are having a conversation with others. The thoughts in our head, the random questioning of, hmm, what do I want to wear today is exactly the type of question we continue to ask ourselves day in and day out? Eventually, we stop asking ourselves that question and we start asking others. We allow other people to place their limitations on us. How many times have you thought about doing something, wearing something, saying something, only for someone to tell you? I don't think that's a good idea. You start to feel insignificant and you reduce your self-esteem down to nothing. As a child, we all have felt unstoppable, invincible, and we have all wanted to strive through life without even considering how we are going to get there. 

I mean, let's think about kids. How many kids have you seen plan an activity course where they jump from the couch to another couch, onto the top bunk, down to the floor, rolling into the bucket, toppling down the stairs onto a skateboard that pushes them outside? Eventually those kids stop playing, either because they listen to mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and they try to live their life very carefully not to get hurt. Others become medicated. This all happens because of negative self-talk. I'm here to help you change that. I'm here to help flip the switch that helps you get into that character mode like an actor preparing for a play. Only this time you are the producer. You get to create your story exactly the way you want it to be. Are you ready? Let's dive in. 

Welcome to ground zero. You wonder, how did I get here? How did I reach rock bottom again? You were on a good path. You started your New Year's resolution because you were determined to just make this year your year. You listened to all of the motivational videos. You bought all of those tapes. I mean, you even went to the gym and you started working out and you did it just like Nike, for the first few days. Then you missed a day, then a week, and now you're back at the same place you were on December 31st. Only more defeated and upset with yourself and maybe two pounds heavier, and it's only January 24th. I mean, come on you didn't even last one month. Ugh, I can never finish anything you tell yourself as you sit there thinking about your life, looking around sneaking and eating an Oreo, and you're right, you can't finish anything. Why? You just said, and guess what? You just did that. 

I am here to tell you, stop. Stop creating this continuous proclamation about yourself that is not even true. You are so much better than that. Can we try a different approach and see if it could actually work? This is a conversational slap from the universe to wake you up to your true potential, to Un-f yourself and get spectacularly into your life. I love this quote. This quote is from an amazing book called Un-f yourself. This quote allows you to assert your mind and change your mindset. What exactly is a mindset and why do we need it? A mindset is a mental attitude. Our mindset is important because it influences and directly impacts our life. A research study was published in the International Journal of STEM Education, where researchers surveyed 875 students in an organic chemistry course. They surveyed them four points throughout the semester and interviewed a bunch of students about their mindsets and academic experiences. This is why they did it. 

The first problem was, a lot of college students are not successful. This is actually a huge problem because college is supposed to be a public good. College has a responsibility to show why it exists. The extent to which a student views their intelligence, aka mindset as something that can be improved influences their thoughts, behaviors, and ultimately their academic success. For researchers who are working on understanding and promoting student success, understanding how a student's mindset develops can be very useful. They decided to add to the literature because they wanted to gain an understanding as to why and how students' mindsets change. Here are their results. Students viewed their intelligence aka mindset as something stable. This is not a growth mindset, but rather a fixed mindset. 

What's even more alarming is that this belief was even more true in students who persistently struggled in organic chemistry. From analysis of the student's written survey responses to the transcripts from the interviews, the researchers determined that students attributed their beliefs about their intelligence to five different factors, academic experiences, observing peers, deducing logically, taking societal cues and formal learning. The researchers concluded, there is a relationship between mindset and its influence on academic performance. This suggests that academic performance is going to directly influence a student's mindset. The researchers also believed that mindset and academic performance make up something called a positive feedback loop.

Now, I wanted to talk to you guys about a positive feedback loop because it's a little bit different than what we call a negative feedback loop. In life we see a lot of examples of a negative feedback loop. For example, let's say that you are working out and you start to sweat. The sweat is there to cool your body down and get your temperature back to an optimal range. We call that homeostasis. Now, negative feedback does not mean that it's negative or bad. It just means that it's doing the opposite to get back to where it was before. Positive feedback is a lot different we don't really see a lot of positive feedback loop examples except for one that I can remember off the top of my head is in childbirth. Whenever a woman is in labor, her brain is going to release this chemical called oxytocin.

Oxytocin is going to cause the contraction to happen, which goes ahead and pushes the baby further down the birth canal and allows a woman to become more dilated. So one job of positive feedback is only one thing. Positive feedback has only one job. Its goal is to enhance the situation. Think about that, positive feedback, enhancing the situation. Your mindset enhances the situation. In simple terms, elevate your mindset, elevate your performance. The study goes on to show that students' mindsets are influential because they affect a bunch of other things that are not related to thinking. This includes setting the type of goals. Depending on your mindset that is going to determine your performance. Your performance is going to be determined by the type of goal that you set. So if you have a higher thinking mindset, you're going to set a higher goal, which means you are going to perform higher.

They also found that students' mindsets are malleable and appear to change over time. There have been some research interventions that researchers have used to help students develop a growth mindset by doing certain tasks or activities, and they have gotten some really good results. There are two great things that have come out of different studies. One of them was that successful mindset interventions have boosted students' grades and persistence. Another great thing is that it has reduced or eliminated racial achievement gaps. So you might ask yourself, or you might ask me, why do we need to have a better mindset? Studies show that we have over 50,000 thoughts per day. How many of your thoughts are positive? How many of your thoughts were negative? Are you constantly creating a negative monologue about your life? You know what you think and what you say about yourself matters. It actually impacts your quality of life.

You may wonder, how can I enjoy life? How can I chill out and enjoy life? Simple, change your language. Change your language, change your circumstances. Frankenstein said, the harmony between thought and reality can be found in the grammar of the language. Grammar is how our sentences are structured. When you talk to and about yourself better, you live better. You are not enjoying your life or living to your potential because the way how you talk and perceive yourself is diminishing your self-worth. This hurts your self-esteem and confidence, and then eventually you have to be forced to engage in self-love just to show yourself that you are worthy. Isn't that crazy? The way how you see the world is based on your perception? It's not a hundred percent correct. Our thoughts are so irrational. Why on earth would you think that you are not worthy? Why would you not have the confidence to stand up for what you believe in, what you enjoy and how you feel?

How many times have you said to yourself, I'm so stupid. I always mess things up. My life is just over, just because of small mistakes. We never see or even care to see the impact of what we tell ourselves unless if you have children. Have you ever noticed or overheard your child say something negative about themselves simply because you said that very thing about yourself? Do you really want your child to go through life constantly thinking that? I hope not. Think about all the times you've psyched yourself out simply because you thought something was too hard. You brace yourself for something you think happens and then when it comes, you're like, that was it, crazy? Even making your bed, cleaning after yourself doing the dishes, all boring, but guess what? We stopped doing those little things only to come home one day to what looks like a whirlwind of chaos, disgusted, anger and frustration, negative self-talk and repeat.

So here's where I help. Let's assess the situation you're going through. Well, I mean you're already going through it. Life is rough. It's throwing its best curve balls at you. Would you rather go through it and get nothing or would you rather go through it and become someone? Hell, don't ask me that question because you know this can only happen from within you, yes you. You have to do it. How many times have you tried searching for the answer outside of yourself only to be disappointed? How can I enjoy life again? How can I enjoy life alone? Where can I find my happiness? How do I get my happiness back? Simple, decide to enjoy your life. The only way to live a life you love is to live a life you love. You are the one who has to decide to do it. Don't wait too long.

Your life is waiting on you. Pick up the pace. Like I told you earlier, I wouldn't leave you hanging. Here's how you do it. You are going to make a conscious decision to be assertive and purposeful in talking to yourself in a better way. I believe this approach is so powerful because it allows you to take control right here and right now. It's not a positive way of dreaming. One day I will enjoy myself. Instead, we are making a statement, a claim, a fact right here and right now. Let's do a test run. Which one do you like better? A. I am powerful or B, I will be powerful. A wins. Be assertive, take control of the situation. This first podcast episode, ground zero is a foundation that we are going to build upon. You probably feel defeated, worn out, tired, ready to give up, don't.

You are needed. You are wanted, and you are required to live your purpose. Don't believe me. Go ahead and ask three people if you are worthy. I'm sure that they will begin to question why you would ever think such a thing. Are you willing to continue to live a life you accept even though you hate it? I'm not. In fact, I am unwilling to live a life where I cannot be free to express myself. If you are willing to live a life that you can enjoy, actually enjoy, I want you to say this, I am living a great life that I enjoy. How did it feel? Good, huh? Let's try it again. Ready? I am living a great life that I enjoy. You are. You are living a great life that you enjoy. 

You are worthy, you are powerful, you are amazing, and you are willing to change your thoughts from one that controls you and holds you down to one that you are in command and assertive with power and authority. My challenge to you is to choose one statement that you will assert and command over your life today. Something such as I am strong or I am enough can really be powerful whenever we are facing problems. Those problems become opportunities and we start to realize who we are. Change your thoughts, change your perception. Change your world, and you can live the best life you want and enjoy by simply deciding. It doesn't matter what your genetic makeup is or even your upbringing. If you are willing to change your mindset, then that is all you need. 

As I close out, I want you to listen to this amazing three minute video that I got from Chispa Motivation. Thank you for letting me include this in my podcast. I ask that you really listen to it and assert and command your mind. He has an amazing collection of content that you can listen to. I will include all of his information and I want you to go out and be assertive. This was episode one Ground Zero where I laid down the foundation and introduced you and the problem that you were having. My goal is simple. I'm here to guide you in the right direction. You are the one who makes that change happen. You got this. Thank you for listening to a PhD Mommy's mindset. Feel free to subscribe to this series wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on Instagram at a PhD mommy or our [email protected]. Go and blaze the new world that you have created.