Perfect Parent Syndrome? Attachment Theory on the Dangers of Perfect Parenting vs. Good Enough Parenting | Learn Positive Parenting Tips | Ep. 44

We all want to do our best as parents, but perfect parenting might not be the gift we think it is. In fact, striving to be a perfect mother or a perfect father can actually create struggles for our kids later in life. This episode dives into why perfect parent syndrome leads to emotional dependence, low frustration tolerance, and unrealistic relationship expectations.

So, what is good parenting? Research in attachment theory shows that kids don’t need us to be flawless—they need us to be real. The concept of good enough parenting, first introduced by Donald Winnicott, explains why children benefit more from good enough parenting than from a parent who never makes mistakes. The ability to repair small ruptures in relationships, rather than avoiding them altogether, builds resilience, emotional intelligence, and self-trust.

In this episode, I’ll be sharing positive parenting tips to help you shift from trying to figure out how to be a perfect parent to embracing a more balanced approach. You’ll learn why letting go of perfection doesn’t mean lowering your standards but actually making space for connection, growth, and emotional security.

I’ll also share a case study about a client, “Michael,” who was raised by a perfect mother. His childhood was full of warmth, attentiveness, and love—but as an adult, he struggled to form meaningful relationships because no one could measure up to that level of emotional perfection. This is why it's so important to rethink how to be a perfect mother or how to be a perfect father and instead embrace good enough parenting.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for not getting everything right, this episode will help you reframe your mindset and show you how being “good enough” is actually the best thing you can do for your child.

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Full Transcript HERE.

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Markella Kaplani, M.A.

Clinical-Counseling Psychologist

Parenthood & Relationship Coach

www.markellakaplani.com