How Are You? | The No Bullsh*t Guide to a Happier Life

Welcome to episode 103. In this episode, I’m exploring why for neurodivergent people - especially those who are autistic - the simple question “How are you?” can feel overwhelmingly complicated. We’ll look at what actually goes on in our brains during moments like this, and why even well-meaning questions can lead to overwhelm or shutdown. I also talk about ways I prefer to be checked in with—and why sharing our communication preferences can help us connect more honestly and kindly.

Whether this is your experience or you're just curious, I hope this episode gives you helpful insight into more supportive ways to communicate. Let’s dive in.

In this episode:

•       The complexity of the question "How are you?"– Why for many autistic people, this common question can cause anxiety or shutdown (especially during burnout).
•       The fear of rejection or abandonment – how avoiding social questions can trigger deep fears of being judged, pitied or abandoned.
•           Alternative ways to show care – suggestions for more accessible check-in questions, and the importance of asking what’s best.

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Season 5 of this podcast is sponsored by Stephanie Ward of The Spicy Brain Collective. We thank Stephanie hugely for her ongoing support.

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