You Can't Control Everything: The Truth About Co-Parenting

What if the very thing you’re clinging to in co-parenting, the need for control, is what’s keeping you from peace?

In this episode, Michelle Dempsey-Multack unpacks why control in co-parenting is an illusion, how expectations create unnecessary heartache, and what true surrender looks like for divorced parents. Listeners will learn how to shift from frustration to freedom and create a calmer, more resilient environment for their children.

What You’ll Learn:

Why co-parents crave control after divorce and how it impacts anxiety

The difference between healthy influence and harmful attempts to control

How to respond when your ex behaves in ways you can’t change

Tools for modeling resilience and stability for your children

A practical exercise to release control and focus on what really matters

Episode Highlights:

00:00 – Why control feels like the only safety net after divorce

02:05 – The truth: you can’t control your ex, your child’s emotions, or transitions

05:15 – How expectations create self-fulfilling frustration

08:40 – What letting go really looks like in day-to-day co-parenting

11:25 – Surrender as freedom: shifting energy into peace, healing, and presence

13:30 – Final reflection: modeling resilience for your children

Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned:

The “Expectation Audit” Exercise – writing down one thing you can’t control in co-parenting, and one thing you can control.

Modeling Resilience Framework – showing kids strength and calm through action rather than reacting to negativity.

Closing Insight:

“Your power as a parent doesn’t come from controlling every variable; it comes from modeling grace, resilience, and love.”

Letting go of control isn’t giving up, it’s reclaiming peace. Take a deep breath, release what isn’t yours to manage, and focus on what truly matters: showing up for your children with stability and love.

Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore

Get one-on-one coaching from Michelle: http://stan.store/themichelledempsey/p/book-a-11-zoom-with-me-wt46q75a

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey

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LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep263-letting-go-of-control-in-co-parenting
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