Mindfulness to Manage a Crisis

A few weeks ago, while camping, my husband had a heart attack. It wasn’t his first cardiac crisis. But this time, it dawned that our lives would dramatically change. This wasn’t a fluke. It wasn’t a one time event. I could no longer live in that lovely dreamland of denial.

Welcome to episode 24 of the Midlife Reset podcast. I’m Cheryl Gordon, a yoga therapist committed to educating midlife women around losing weight, feeling stronger and sleeping better using the tools of yoga and mindfulness.

Today I’m sharing how I used awareness, curiosity, and deep self-compassion to navigate one of the scariest moments of my life. If you’ve ever faced a crisis and felt completely overwhelmed, this one’s for you.

The last thing I ever want is for people to feel sorry for me. Maybe you can relate.

The reason I’m sharing in today’s podcast is that I want to teach exactly how I used mindfulness to navigate this super scary s**t.

There is sometimes the illusion that those of us who preach peace, harmony and love have this charmed life where we just float around with rainbows and unicorns shooting out our asses. Well meaning friends and family members have cautioned me to not be honest with y’all because you wouldn’t trust my teachings if you thought I had problems too.

Here’s the first tool to navigating a major crisis with mindfulness. Awareness.

In a human life, there will be times of wonderful joy and happiness. And there will absolutely be times when things suck. It’s probably about 50/50. Anyone who says they’re rarely uncomfortable has either had a lobotomy or they are numbing regularly with alcohol, comfort eating, netflixing, over spending or some other buffering behaviour.

Recognizing and allowing those uncomfortable feelings is the first step in mindfulness. It’s ok. You are not broken. My life is not bad because we’re dealing with a health crisis. There is no cloud of doom over my head. It is just life.

How does this look in the moment? By being aware of how I am feeling. Checking in with myself the way I would a close friend. How are you? Can I be your sounding board to help you understand what’s happening for you?

For example, driving to the hospital one day, I felt a dark, dense, depressive fog descend. Not to be dramatic, but I almost felt like I could drive that truck into a guardrail. It was just too much in that moment. The knee jerk reaction was to argue with the feeling. Reason with myself that it wasn’t that bad. Don’t be a weiner. But instead, I gave myself the gift of mindfulness. I dropped awareness into my physical body. I felt heavy in the chest, headachey, almost nauseous. I kept my attention there even though I didn’t like it. I kept another bit of focus on my breathing. Steady and slow. I watched as the sensations slowly shifted. After a few minutes…. I watched on the truck clock ….. I could feel the cloud dissipating. It was really hard not to panic. I know what chronic depression feels like. I don’t want to go back there. But I trust the process.

This example of that drive to the hospital illustrated tool #2 of mindfulness. Curiousity.

Instead of stuffing down the feeling, arguing with why I shouldn’t feel it or acting out around the feeling, I brought an attitude of kindly curiosity to it. I find going into physical sensations helps me stay less panicked and gets me a bit out of my coo-coo head.

Again, it’s like you have a close friend and they’re explaining how they are feeling. You pay attention, ask questions, don’t judge. In a loving relationship, we seek to understand. It’s such a rewarding way to connect.

That’s what I offered to myself that day in the truck on the way to the hospital.

The third tool of mindfulness is embracing.

Think of hugging a loved one…. Embracing them. For that moment, you are very aware of their physical being…. Of how it feels to touch another human and be welcomed into that hug. We absolutely need that sensation to survive, let alone thrive.

In that moment in the truck on the way to the hospital, when I felt the depression cloud suffocating me, I had my back. I knew I could be and should be my own best friend in that moment. So I listened. I stayed present. I cared. I didn’t judge. I gave myself a “hug” by not distracting or numbing out. I let some tears flow. I didn’t beat myself up and call myself weak. I didn’t negate all the self development work I have done in the last few years by saying it is all stupid because I didn’t feel good in that moment.

In the intensity of that emotional storm, I tapped into the deeper, constant rudder of mindful awareness. This is the layer of us that is always the same. The place that we peak out at life from. Our witness self. The essence of this centre is loving kindness. I feel it in my spiritual heart. This is the place within me that I love my dog to an insane degree. This is the place within me that cries at movies. This is the place within me that swells with gratitude when life is beautiful. This is the place within me that finds forgiveness and understanding for those I love. And this is the place where I find self compassion.

Why is any of this relevant to you my friend? Because a crisis happens for all of us.

Like the client who was losing weight but gained it all back when her mom got sick and routines went out the window.

Like the client who got fired a few years from planned retirement. To numb from the shock, she started compulsively shopping. The credit card debt torpedoed her financial goals.

Like the yoga teacher trainee from my old studio who was so looking forward to leading yoga classes. But she broke her arm part way through the training and abandoned any compromise of how to finish the program in despair.

You maybe can find an example in your own experience where something erupted out of nowhere and derailed you from your goals.

This year, my big focus is on building a six figure business. It’s been a learning curve for sure. And lots of challenge. When my husband was in the hospital, I couldn’t even browse a magazine. My brain was so fuzzy from the stress. It would have been so familiar and easy to just give up on my business goal.

This is why mindfulness is soooo amazing. I used the tools. A for awareness. C for curiosity. E for embracing. ACE. The practice helped me acknowledge what was happening but gave me that grounding so I didn’t forget my goals.

I was back at work within a couple days. I’m not distracting myself with busy-ness. I am proceeding with clarity and commitment. I’m not pushing myself to exhaustion just to avoid feeling. I’m taking adequate time to journal, write podcasts, practice yoga.

Thank you for listening to this whole tale. I share it not to get sympathy, as I outlined at the start. But I share this to inspire you to dive into your own mindfulness practice. It is truly a super power.

If you are interested in diving deeper, creating a truly transformative mindfulness routine for your lifestyle, I would encourage you to look into the SHE Mindfulness program. This is the place where I really pulled together all these concepts to rejuvenate my midlife. I used mindfulness to lose the menopausal weight. To learn to have my own back no matter how scary life gets. To feel strong, not only in body, but in mind & spirit.

Let’s face it. As we get older, we see and experience more and more things. It can be overwhelming and depressing. OR we can ACE it with Mindfulness and experience aging as a continuation of the grand adventure of life.