3 Ways to Cut Nighttime Snacking

Does this sound familiar? I eat healthy all day long… green smoothie for breakfast, high fibre salad for lunch. Even at dinner, well, I start carefully. But then it tastes really good. And I’m not supposed to eat after dinner, so I’d better tank up now. Wouldn’t want to be hungry or I won’t sleep. And then I finish it all and think good, I’m full. But…. The night stretches out long ahead. I’m tired. But a little wired. My sweet tooth starts grumbling. What about a little chocolate??? Dark chocolate has antioxidants you know. Yup. That sure was good. Another little square won’t hurt. I sit to watch something on YouTube and next thing I know, half the bar is gone. OK, no more of that. This is what goes on in my brain, literally.

Welcome to episode 25 of the Midlife Reset Podcast. I’m Cheryl Gordon, yoga therapist. I am working hard to educate midlife women about losing weight, feeling stronger and sleeping better.

Back to my night time struggle. Literally every night.

I feel shame for caving on the chocolate. That uncomfortable feeling niggles in the back of my mind while I’m trying to distract with more YouTube or reading. More shame starts piling in because it’s a shame spiral. The more the merrier, right?

You should sign up for an exercise class at night. You will never fit into your clothes if you don’t tackle this weight around the middle. And for me, I make a living selling healthy lifestyle. What kind of advertisement is it if I look dumpy????

Yeah, and I should sign up for a continuing education class. That would keep me away from food at night. I do feel kind of tired after dinner. I put in full days. But if I were really ambitious or organized I would have energy for that. More shame, yay!

Meanwhile, my habit brain, the part of my brain that organizes all my background processes, is becoming a little concerned. All this shame coming to the party leads to feelings of isolation, being left out and not measuring up. Wayyyyy back in the caveman days, being left out or ostracized from the tribe was fatal. My habit brain still holds to that notion. So these feelings of isolation are being read as a survival threat. We could die!!!!

Habit brain to the rescue! It has a plan for all potential survival threats. And it has been gathering programming for millennia for just this moment.

Unfortunately, my habit brain does not have room or any desire to embrace my goals, dreams and higher human potential. It’s only interested in basic survival. It doesn’t know that I’ve resolved to kick night time snacking or that I desperately want to fit into my beautiful clothes.

The habit brain steadily amps up the signals that we should do whatever it takes to calm the feelings of isolation, shame and loneliness. Historically, you know what has worked super well???? Eating a snack!

When we eat something rich in carbohydrates, like chocolate or popcorn or Oreos, the brain receives a strong dopamine hit. This is a pleasure hormone. We are wired, super hard wired, to go after dopamine hits.

Ahhhhh. Pleasurable food. Brain happy. Shame spiral temporarily halted. Deep breath.

Unfortunately, that dopamine hit just band-aided the problem. Logically, I’ve just added more fuel to the shame fire. The whole circle of hell starts again.

Hopefully, my story helps you understand how absolutely normal you are. This is a trap so many of us fall into. You are not broken. I am not shame worthy. It’s just an unmindful pattern that we can totally hack into.

Here’s how.

There are several reasons why this night time snacking cycle gets away from us. I’d like to share three today along with a strategy for each. In the SHE Mindfulness Program, we take a much deeper dive. And you have access to our private Community within which you can ask questions specific to your situation and share your own strategies with others like us.

1. Days can be busy. Sometimes it’s hard to fit in proper meals. And I often don’t notice my hunger or cravings because my brain is so entertained by all that’s happening. Also, I might take advantage of that distraction and skip some meals. You know… bank my calories for later. It’s feels so virtuous to say, “Oh I forgot to eat today!” Or “I only had an apple for lunch”.

Meanwhile, that habit brain is getting more and more concerned. Depriving ourselves and ignoring hunger cues can create a panic response in your system. Even mild hunger can trigger stress hormones. You might not notice the build up of anxiety because you are stimulated by your activities. But when the distractions start to wind down, the anxiety hits full tilt.

Do you find you are nibbling while cooking dinner? Do the hunger pangs attack as you drive home to make supper? Do you get “hangry”?

Routinely ignoring hunger cues sensitizes our alarm system so it’s super hard to control eating to enough. There is a brilliant communication loop built into our system. But if we are not attuned, the system loses its calibration. In other words, the habit brain becomes even more of a drama queen and sends these big panic messages as soon as it can find our attention.

Here’s the solution: Eat when you are hungry. And stop eating when you’ve had enough.

How elegant. In Mindful Eating (you can get a FREE copy of the guide by clicking on the link in the show notes), we study exactly how to read the body for hunger and full cues. It sounds so simple but, for me, it has been an ongoing practice to recalibrate.

This is a long term process of learning to deeply listen to your body again. You don’t have to give up chocolate or popcorn. I promise.

2. The next strategy is helping to address the hormones that cause unnecessary night time snacking.

Cortisol is a normal hormone that is commonly released in the system to help us feel energized and prepped for activity. It starts to rise about 4 am and steadily grows all day. There’s nothing wrong with cortisol in the system. It’s normal.

But here’s the catch. We sit down at dinner. We’re probably hungry. We’ve been busy. Our brains are tired. Do you know you have to make tens of thousands of decisions each day and each one is an energy gobbler?

The relaxation that comes into the system with food is like a roller coaster downhill. We crash. Our system so needed that relaxation that it doesn’t want it to end. Especially if after dinner, there’s a whole bunch of yucky stuff like laundry or feeling lonely.

The habit brain knows how to keep the party going. Keep eating! It’s simple. So we take a little more chicken. That’s healthy right? And maybe just a spoonful more pasta. It is so good tonight. Did you miss lunch? Well… have seconds of course. You can afford the calories.

The body doesn’t really need those calories. They will likely be stored as fat… you know, there could be a famine. There was for most of human history. The bottom line… you torpedo your weight loss goals before you’ve even really settled in for the evening.

Does this resonate? Well, I blew through my portion control at supper. I’ll start over tomorrow. But for tonight, I might as well blow it out with chips. And then it’s the shame spiral. See overeating strategy number one.

There is a wonderful solution! In the SHE Mindfulness program we talk a lot more about mindful rest. But this is how rest breaks throughout the day relate to weight loss. Most people think they need to exercise more. So this can be really counter intuitive. But stick with me.

IF you don’t want to try and wrestle with that big tank in cortisol at supper tonight, wouldn’t it make sense to bring it down a bit during the day? This is scientifically possible by taking 5 - 20 minute mid day reset for the nervous system. A restorative yoga pose, a quick nap, a meditation…. There are many options to reduce cortisol production.

The second part to this solution is to plan for a pleasurable activity after dinner that will mimic that dopamine hit you normally get from food. A juicy novel perhaps? A cuddle with a loved one or pet? A relaxing evening stroll to gab with the neighbours? Not laundry! Not a high energy boxer fit class! I love seeing the amazing ideas our community in the SHE Mindfulness program shares about getting that evening sense of connection and calm.

* And finally, the third issue. Are you a rebel? You might be a wonderful, giving person all day… never saying no and always patient … then night time comes… it’s quiet, no one’s around… it’s your time and you’re going to have a little fun by golly… that’s often the junk food.

I have a friend. She stills writes handwritten thank you cards! She has impeccable manners. Never misses a birthday, etc. Her house is immaculate. Very successful at her career. But simmering underneath, that nobody can see usually, she’s pissed. People forget her birthday. They don’t say thank you. They don’t finish the file properly at work. Why do they get away with that sloppiness and she has to clean up the mess???

That simmering resentment is damned uncomfortable to live with. The voices in our heads can get nasty. And we don’t want to be nasty. BUT if I just dip into that leftover cake…. It makes all the voices quieter for a few minutes.

This is what we call Rebel Eating. I deserve a treat because I had one helluva day. I just don’t know where else to turn for comfort.

Girlfriend, you got this. Through mindfulness, you can learn to be your own best friend. To have your back.

When I first looked at this behaviour, I was stumped as to how to nurture myself without food, wine or shopping. What else was there???? It took some soul searching to uncover the ways in which I was being unkind to myself so I wouldn’t feel so, well, USED at the end of the day.

The solution is to look at setting boundaries. This is a lot harder than the word suggests. We all want to be strong, kickass women who stick up for ourselves. But in reality, we’re pushovers. Can you babysit grama? Can you bring a three layer cake to the pot luck? You don’t mind taking over Jane’s files do you since she’s having cancer treatment? We will do almost anything to make the people we care about happy. It’s called people pleasing. And it’s exhausting and ultimately unsuccessful. Review your relationships and obligations … what expectations do I have for myself that are ridiculously high? Where can you start setting clear limits on your own choices so you don’t feel like rebelling with food is your only way to find comfort.

In the SHE Mindfulness program, I advocate strongly for making daily plans. This supports you in seeing the whole picture of the day. Spot scheduling overlaps. Pack snacks for when food is inaccessible. Gather the materials you’ll need to get everything done.

I’ve personally also found a life coach incredibly helpful in learning more about boundaries and discovering the tools I need to follow through.

Let’s review. We’ve looked at three of the ways that night time snacking gets the better of us. Even if you aren’t looking to lose weight, snacking is often less than healthy. Not many of us grab the veggie sticks for movie night.

Skipping meals and depriving yourself aggravates your stress response, leaving you vulnerable to over eating later in the day. The solution is to eat when you are truly hungry and stop when you’ve had enough.

The relaxation that floods the system when you finally sit down to dinner is addictive. It’s hard to control portions when you just feel so good all of a sudden. The solution we reviewed here is to watch your energy expenditure during the day. Rest breaks can help even out the hormones, insulating you from that roller coaster ride at night.

People pleasing is wired in to us women but setting healthy boundaries can help prevent rebel eating at night. You are definitely worth some time and energy to investigate where you can put limits in place. No one likes feeling taken for granted.

I hope you will click on the link in the show notes to access your free mindful eating guide. It gives more detail about how to feel hunger cues and details the hunger scale. There are also some great tips on planning and other effective practices.

And if you would like a more in depth study of mindfulness to lose weight PLUS feel so much stronger and rested, I would encourage you to look into the SHE Mindfulness program. It’s the protocol that I used to lose 25 pounds of menopausal weight and the same practices that are supporting me this year as I build a six figure online business. Woot woot! I honestly would never have guessed a couple years ago that I’d be hosting a podcast and announcing my income goals in public. So much has changed due to mindfulness. I honestly have so much energy now, optimism, excitement for the future. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns as listeners to this podcast well know. But I feel like I can handle all the challenges that aging inevitably brings. I’m not scared now. I don’t feel like the show’s over. I’m not at the mercy of how other people think of me. It’s pretty empowering. And that’s what I want for you, my friend.