Writing About Moments You Can’t Fully Remember

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"One of the biggest misconceptions about writing memoir is that every detail has to be exact. But storytelling is about creating a feeling—and sometimes, that means using imagination to bridge the gaps.

If you remember standing in your grandmother’s kitchen but can’t recall exactly what she was cooking, think about what she often made. If you know you took a road trip in 1975 but don’t remember the weather, look up historical records or make an educated guess based on the season.

Imagination isn’t lying—it’s reconstructing. It’s filling in the blank spaces in a way that feels authentic to the moment.

One storyteller I worked with was writing about a pivotal day in his childhood, but he couldn’t recall what shirt he was wearing, what the sky looked like, or what song was playing on the radio. So I asked him, 'If you had to guess, what would it have been?' He thought for a moment and said, 'I probably wore my favorite striped t-shirt, and my dad always had Johnny Cash on the radio.'

That was enough. That single decision—choosing what felt true—made the scene real. And that’s what matters most."

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