Loving Your Partner Enough to Take a Pause with Nick Flora

If you want great music for your podcast and social content, you can get 10% OFF unlimited licensable music at Soundstripe Music. go to thekindoflove.com/promo

SHOW NOTES

:25 min

Aaron Talks

How do you know if you need a pause in your relationship ? How do you know if loving your partner in the relationship means spending some time and space apart from each other and redefine your boundaries and who YOU are. 

Do you need a deeper sense of awareness or self development to continue in a relationship. Only you really know that answer. 

I brought my friend and fellow coach Nick Flora to talk about that very thing. Can taking a PAUSE, which is different than a break up, to become aware of how you operate and function in the relationship, so that you can heal. 

Is that possible ? Is that loving your partner? Is that loving yourself? Maybe those two things are simultaneous. 

How do you navigate this? How do you know whether or not this is a threat ?

Often we get to this place where start to not like things about our partner, or find ourselves in harmful relationship patterns resurfacing. Maybe You’ve started to acknowledge that you are the common denominator in your relationship. 

Either you or your partner might say, “we need to take a pause or a break.” Not break up, but just pause. How do we not see that as a threat?

It can be a loving act to want to better yourself, rethink yourself, or reframe the internal narrative happening in your mind so that you’re more of a content healed person moving forward. 

Nick is in the middle of a pause in his relationship. He and his former partner are self-development coaches. I thought it would be interesting to sit down with Nick to talk about this, and what it looks like. How to love yourself and your partner during this time and grow. 

Can you still stay connected with that person and create more of a bond, rather than just going in the roller coaster cycle that we often find ourselves in. 

Discover your attachment style. Discover what your wants and needs are. And can you give yourself that thing you want or need? Can you be less codependent that way, by giving what you want and need to yourself?

I’ve got some questions for Nick. We’ll let the conversation go from there. 

4min 

• Musician to coaches and doing both
• Brains and barking dogs
• I’ll pray for you and being “eye rolley”

10 min

• How nick and Aaron met
• The key that links to what everyone has in common
• Shipwreck the podcast 
• Back and forth with relationships

13 min

• stay stuck in the pattern cause it’s familiar 
• Nick and his former partner were both self development coaches with similar story and named Ship wrecked

15 minutes

• Like getting our hearts broken over celeb couples 

16 minutes audiogram

• Codependency 
• Let’s just take a pause and the binary world 

18 min

• Nick just wants to be chosen 
• The difference between pausing in the moment and actually taking a pause

19:30 min

• The basis is friendship and the misconception

21 min

• Figuring out what works between Nick and his former girlfriend
• Texting is making us communicate more, looking at it from an accurate lens

23 min

• Why the pause?
• Guilt, shame, deconstructing religion, started the path of deconstruct relationships

25:30 min

• Who am I when I’m alone ? Connection to self-worth

26:30

• Loving your partner enough to take a pause
• Practice being the best version of me while pausing. Its like the house analogy

30 min 

• Being friends with everyone is not knowing yourself
• Shifting your intentions in the moment

32 min 

• Oxygen in the relationship to let it breathe
• Spending intentional time with yourself
• practice being alone

33:50 min

• Being the observer of yourself and befriending yourself
• Not everything in life is threat to me and who I am

37 min

• Learning to parent yourself
• Ultimate freedom matched with maturity is knowing how to love yourself
• Intention matches the outcome

40 min

• Chasing or avoiding intimacy
• What are your harmful patterns? 

40:30 min 

Aaron Talks

Hey there! Did you get any golden nuggets, wisdom, or knowledge in there. Anything thing that you rethought about yourself? Let me know by giving a review of this podcast. 

We continue this conversation on the next episode. Nick and I talk about what to expect after a relationship?

My mantra is best intentions low attachment. So what can expect from a pause? If you want to connect with Nick Flora you can find him on instagram @nickflora

Thanks for listening.

I’m Aaron.

Best of Love to you.