Embracing Masculinity and Vulnerability with Nik Cherwink

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:23 min Aaron Talks

Growing up in a culture where the phrase toxic masculinity gets thrown around a lot and where there is a need for men to redefine and reframe what healthy masculinity looks like. 

We’ve heard things like

• Vulnerability is be weak

• Men aren’t supposed to show there emotions

What do we do with emotions like anger or stress ?

Nik Cherwink is an athlete and an artist. He coaches musicians in their business and their creativity. 

Reframing and Knowing that to be vulnerable is not weak, hiding is weak, and when we take the risk to share our emotions, we become grounded and create deeper connection. 

• being a vulnerable strong man

• Struggling with being an artist and an athlete

• Expressing your emotions like anger without exploding and being harmful

• Our culture has no initiation for men and addressing our masculinity and we don’t have a place to address that it becomes toxic

3:15 min

• Aaron’s intro about the story’s we tell ourselves

• What Nick is doing now, it began helping artists with their creativity and life

• Nik became intentional doing men’s work

6:50 min

• Nik acknowledging that he’s not there yet to coach men

• Nik wants to start making music himself

• Being an artist, athlete, and blanking the masculine and feminine

9:00 min

• Being and artist but also releasing the wild man

• Nik has struggled with two identities

• Nik was always into sports and music

• All of us are both of masculine and feminine

11:00 min 

• Externally we get out of balance and that can get

• Artists get trapped in to feminine, but some times get lost in the masculine

12:00 min

• Nik’s story of sports to music and rave culture

• Balancing Healthy masculinity

• Being a chronic procrastinator

• Nik’s father was not being there

• Finding masculinity through sports

• Not having a place for men to get initiated

15:20 min

• How can we as guys live more healthy in the masculine

• Being vulnerable as a man

• Putting up a front is from a place of fear

• More masculine and courage to be vulnerable, let go, share your emotions and not be fake

18 min

• Acknowledge and express

• Being assertive, masculine, and sharing your feelings

• Noticing whats coming up

• Being present and not going to vices

• Have a healthy release out like like Crossfit and drumming

21:20 min

• When it comes up in relationships

• Can I express my emotions from a place of grounded-ness

• Don’t blow over but also don’t shove it down

• Learning how to deal with anger

• Being mad for no reason and understanding it’s not from anything current happening

24 min

• Navigating your anger in a relationship without it being harmful

• Nik’s story around navigated anger

• When a fight is escalating, holding boundaries, and speaking firmly in love

• Understanding that we’re not going to talk in that way

27:45 min

• Feminine wants to be guided, directed, and grounded

• Establish respect for both people

29 min

• Most of this wasn’t taught to Nik by his father

• Get out there and pick up some of these books

• Book: The Yay of the Superior Man

• Book: No More Mister Nice Guy

31 min

Glad you could join this conversation on TKOL Podcast.

Did you have any breakthroughs or ah-has ? Please share your feedback in the podcast review section.

If you’re an artist and you’d like to get to the next level in your creativity and your career, you can connect with Nik on instagram.com/nikcherwink

If you struggling in harmful relationship partners like people pleasing, overthinking, self-doubt and you are frustrated with love you can connect with me on instagram.com/aarontosti or thekindloflove.com

Thanks for listening to TKOL Podcast.

I’m Aaron

Best of Love to you