What a To Do! The Lure of Lists… (S2E6)

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This week is a musing on how something that we think is serving us can actually be masking a deeper need.

And that something is… LIST MAKING!

I know, in the grand scheme of things it may not feel like one of the major things to face into - but sometimes it’s the little habits that mask other behaviours. And there may be a resonance here with other habits you continue to practice simply because that’s ‘what you do’ and not because they truly serve you.

Are you a list disciple? A list anarchist?

Whichever camp you find yourself in, I hope this week's reflections help spark new thoughts for you

Henny x

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There’s a part of me here that wants to hold up my hand and say I used to be addicted to lists. And yet, another part of me says ‘That’s ridiculous. How can someone be addicted to lists?’ 

Of course, any behaviour can hold addictive aspects - especially when it helps us mask a inner turmoil, we get a sense of reward from it and feel discomfort without it. (For more on that, see Gabor Mate’s incredible book In the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts)

And lists for me gave me a sense of control in a time when I feared chaos was going to overwhelm everything. I also felt deep discomfort until everything was neatly listed.

I was also proud of my list-making - I wore it as a badge of honour. 

Yet, despite my former pride in my ability to make and manage endless, complex lists - and pitying non-list makers - I appear to have now transitioned to the other side. I am no longer surrounded by neat columns of post-it notes, featuring agile flows. And in fact I don’t have a list on the go. At all.

This a reflection on why we make lists, how they can hinder as well as help - and how our self-awareness, as always, is our greatest tool in seeing what our behaviour is telling us about what’s really going on.

A few of the reflections include:

• Lists can become the end in themselves - where our sense of achievement is triggered by adding the thing to the list, rather than getting the thing done
• They can also become a source of guilt - filled with shoulds, musts and wants rather than what

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