The Heartless Knaves
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
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- Update frequency
- every 6 days
- Average duration
- 42 minutes
- Episodes
- 41
- Years Active
- 2024
Chapter 39: All Good Things
The final chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Grand Father Nikodemus finally arrives back at the Sunken Abbey to find that quite a few things have changed...
Expect Christopher to have a new stati…
Chapter 38: The Heart Of The Matter
The penultimate chapter of The Pale Princess, in which The Other attacks Lludden, Christopher makes a mad dash to reunite with Diesirae, and Silkin and Rooks speed home just in time to get involved..…
Chapter 37: Raking Over The Coals
The thirty-seventh chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Father Nikodemus makes it back to Prydain, Silkin and Rooks leave Brygof, and Christopher departs from Lludden to go home.
Expect massage oil…
Chapter 36: If Wishes Were Horses
The thirty-sixth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Rooks continues to defend Southgate from anyone seeking to flee Laugborg, and Silkin drags his heels about leaving it himself.
Expect Herild and…
Chapter 35: To Crown It All
The thirty-fifth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Diesirae is escorted to The Alabastrine in the middle of the night, while in Laugborg Vestran's masquerade is in full swing...
Expect Sir Felix …
Chapter 34: Dig Your Own Grave
The thirty-fourth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Sally and Silkin team up, Rooks becomes a one man wrecking crew, and the good ladies of Bongle's House of Clunge enjoy a night in the big city…
Chapter 33: The Calm Before The Storm
The thirty-third chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Daevas and Isfrid reconnect with the High Council, Rooks completes the final steps of his plans, Diesirae learns who Sister Signe really is, an…
Chapter 32: Under The Skin
The thirty-second chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Diesirae wakes up in The Alabastrine's dormitory, her heart now sealed into a Ventricular Sphere.
Expect Mother Bodril to be well meaning, for …
Chapter 31: A Tangled Web
The thirty-first chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Rooks acquaints himself with some friendly sewer rats.
Expect a boat trip into a very dark cave, an excessive number of spiders, for Silkin to b…
Chapter 30: The Mills Of The Gods
The thirtieth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which, after quite while, we catch up with Father Nikodemus...
Expect plenty a bit of surgery, to meet a crafty old bishop and a Valladrian who has been …
Chapter 29: The Value Of Nothing
The twenty-ninth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Silkin and Rooks set about infiltrating the Blue Keep...
Expect plenty of Gothic decay, some arcane mystery, rain, thunder, lightning, for Rooks…
Chapter 28: Playing With Fire
The twenty-eighth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which the Hands make good on their threats, Grubenholm is burned, and Nanny makes a stand at the Sunken Abbey.
Expect Colin the goat to rampage, floc…
Chapter 27: Who Pays The Piper
The twenty-seventh chapter of The Pale Princess, in which we meet Jorund, The Speaker of Truths, as Umbrago and Brunhilda parade through Lludden.
Expect to catch up with Cordelia and her shadowy worki…
Chapter 26: The Price of Everything
The twenty-sixth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Rooks organises the fencing of goods, Silkin helps, and Ruby hangs around until he's ready to play pirates...
Expect to meet a quite particular …
Chapter 25: One Good Turn
The twenty-fifth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Nanny is forced to address the problem of the King's Hands who have been bothering the Sunken Abbey, and The Other brings the residents of Grub…
Chapter 24: A Problem Shared
The twenty-fourth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which we follow Diesirae through a night in The Pit, a day in the Grey Keep, and an adventure through Lludden's streets...
Expect fighting, disfigura…
Chapter 23: Steeds Of Another Colour
The twenty-third chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Silkin gets fed up of camping, Grouseboller meets a sticky end, and we arrive at a home from home: Bongle's House of Clunge.
Expect a little lig…
Chapter 22: Catch More Flies With Honey
The twenty-second chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Nanny begins training Christopher, Marco regains consciousness, and Gavriel welcomes a new visitor to the Grey Keep.
Expect punches, kicks, a b…
Chapter 21: A Bird In The Hand
The twenty-first chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Vestran and his assistant unearth the treasure they have been looking for and Daevas frees a half-mad warrior nun who is justifiably hungry for…
Chapter 20: Death and Taxes
The twentieth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Silkin and Rooks finally hit the road - and Silkin lets off some steam by fighting an entire tavern worth of people...
Expect to also catch up with…