Ep.11 - The Fear of Going Backwards

When we commit to personal growth and finally start showing up for ourselves the way we've always wanted, it's not uncommon to experience some anxiety around whether we can sustain our progress.

This is particularly true for people who've struggled with consistency in the past. It shows up as an underlying fear that if we slack off even a little, we'll go right back to square one.

This fear comes up often in conversations with my coaching clients, and I've noticed it in my own journey as well, particularly when it comes to my habit tracker.

In January, I committed to practicing the belief I could transform my life, one small step at a time. I set microgoals in multiple areas and committed to not only recording my progress on a habit tracker for one full year, but to sharing the cumulative results publicly each month. I normally post the monthly review of my fitness efforts at the beginning of the following month.

For five full months, I was fairly diligent at recording my daily habits.

And as the visual evidence of my ability to be consistent and keep my word to myself grew, I started believing I was the type of person who could set goals and do the hard, consistent work to achieve them.

As my self-trust grew, so did my courage. I challenged myself to step outside my comfort zone more and more -- in business, in relationships, and most importantly, in my relationship with myself.

Enter June.

The thing about personal development tools is they're just that, tools. We can find them motivating and use them as catalysts for growth, or we can use them as weapons against ourselves.

And in June, I realized I had developed an unhealthy relationship with my habit tracker. I noticed I was letting this 8.5 x 11 inch sheet of paper dictate whether I could feel good about myself or not.

But, you and I know the habit tracker was not the problem. Attaching my self-worth and inherent value as a person to the habit tracker was.

The good news is, the sooner we recognize our self-destructive ways, the sooner we can interrupt the negative thought patterns and get ourselves back on track.

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Cited in this episode:

Podcasts:

The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo
Ep. 26: The Self Coaching Model

How to Stop Quitting Podcast with Heather Deveaux
Interview Series 2: Kacey Hayes

Self-compassion resources:

Website: Kristin Neff, Ph.D: https://self-compassion.org/

Article: "The 5 Myths of Self-Compassion: What Keeps Us From Being Kinder to Ourselves?" by Kristin Neff, Ph.D. (originally published in Psychotherapy Networker)

Book:

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck, Ph.D.

Habit tracker:

thegoalchaser.com

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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