The Courageous Podcast Episode #25: Tony McAleer (Founder, The Cure For Hate)

3:21 - Tony shares his last company: Life After Hate

4:07 - Tony spent 15 years in the movement

4:37 - Tony didn't grow up in a broken family

5:41 - "The world happens to us and we learn it's not so safe to be open."

8:19 - Tony talks about the coldness of his private school experience

9:35 - Tony talks about the choices he made that harmed other people and himself.

11:32 - Tony shares how the birth of his child changed him.

13:33 - The journey to self acceptance

15:29 - Tony shares his necessary break away from an extreme group

16:09 - Tony as a single parent in the 90s

16:19 - Tony discusses why people really join a hate group

17:38 - Voids filled: Brotherhood.  Love. Toughness.

19:52 - Tony shares where he turned after 15 years in the movement

21:44 - Tony walks us through his first ever counseling session

25:28 - "Compassion is the antidote to shame."

26:09 - The explanation of "toxic shame"

27:45 - "Suicide is the ultimate internal toxic shame. Murder is the ultimate external toxic shame."

28:48 - Tony shares the importance of dealing with our pasts

28:58 - "Healthy shame is, 'I did bad'. Toxic shame is, 'I am bad.'

31:21 - Shame is at the root of bullying. Shame is at the root of addiction.

33:32 - turn arounds happen with compassion

34:37 - The importance of living in alignment with "Little Tony".

38:55 - Radical compassion and the need to address what's beyond our comfort zone

41:23 - Breaking that cycle of playing a role

47:13 - "When I was in Holocaust denial, I was incapable of feeling."

47:28 - Tony shares what it was like to feel the energy of  Concentration Camps.

50:11 - Tony coming to terms with the deepest level of his shadow

50:37 - Tony confesses IF he would changed sooner if he visited the Concentration Camps in his 20s.

52:41 - Tony's book:  "A Cure For Hate"