50. When Partners Have Different Approaches To Aging

Welcome to episode 50! In line with Krista turning 50 next year, we are exploring divergent perspectives around big life experiences, such as aging, and the importance of these conversations in order to stay deeply connected and aligned as a couple.  

Using Peter Attia’s work to guide our exploration of health, we share the conscious and subconscious perspectives that we hold onto as we age. Krista illustrates how being inspired by Will’s commitment to health has revealed potential discrepancies about how we hold aging and what that can indicate for the future of our “We.” 

Unaddressed divergent perspectives can create undesired misalignments in relationships. Whether it’s about aging, health, growth, or other significant life topics, if we are not proactively talking about how our views differ, we risk waking up one day realizing how far apart we are without knowing it.  

We explore what happens when values shift for partners over time and how to respond, and how explicit agreements can help keep us attuned and aligned over time. Plus, we share steps to help initiate a caring conversation with a partner around important areas of life where you recognize there might be differing perspectives. 

Our invitation for you this week is to discover how you and your partner relate to aging and entering the second half of your lives. Do you see it as a slow decline, or do you view aging as a process that brings more possibility and generativity? We want to hear from you. Reach out and let us know your thoughts on kristavanderveer.com 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered:

• Addressing divergent perspectives when it comes to aging 
• Peter Attia’s optimization of health
• Krista and Will’s views around actions that impact future health and thus their We
• How 2 of our vows bring us from “divergent” in our views to aligned
• The psychological toggle between playing offense vs. defense in life   
• Will shares an example of how values changed with a previous partner 
• Examples for how partners can approach difficult conversations 

Resources Mentioned: 

• The Drive podcast by Peter Attia
• Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Peter Attia
• Peter Attia’s website 
• Dan Go on Twitter
• The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

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