Conflict, Culture, and Compromise | The 3L's Podcast Ep 4

In this episode of The 3L’s Podcast, Eman and Mimi dive deep into one of the most delicate and relatable topics in marriage: arguments. They begin with lighthearted banter and even a prayer for peace before unpacking how their different upbringings shaped the way they handle conflict. Mimi reflects on her Nigerian household, where arguments were rarely seen in front of children, and where her immigration experience taught her to stay quiet and avoid drawing attention. Eman, on the other hand, grew up as a vocal extrovert, shaped by a speech impediment he overcame and by a mother who both protected and sheltered him. His experiences made him passionate about using his voice and sometimes leaning into confrontation. The couple honestly explores how these differences initially clashed in their marriage, from Mimi’s tolerance for silence to Eman’s tendency to shut down when upset. They recall how therapy, both individual and joint, helped them unlearn inherited family dynamics, heal past trauma, and develop their own conflict-resolution style as a couple. They emphasise that respect, communication, and the willingness to pause before things escalate are essential. Arguments, they argue, shouldn’t just be about venting but about reaching a resolution. They share personal stories, from silent treatments to learning each other’s communication styles (even Mimi once wrote letters), to show how they’ve matured in handling conflict. The conversation also touches on dilemmas many couples face, like whether it’s right to share marital problems with family or friends. They stress the importance of choosing confidants wisely, someone who supports the marriage, not someone who keeps tally or fuels division. Closing with humour, the pair discuss petty moves during disagreements, the balance of being “the bigger person,” and even how play-fighting can go wrong. Ultimately, they remind listeners that love and respect should remain at the core of every disagreement, and that arguing with purpose, for resolution, can actually strengthen a marriage.

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