George the porch pirate

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.

He lost his crew, he lost his ship, and he even lost his hat.

His reputation kept him from getting hired by other pirates for their ships.

He was reduced to stealing packages off of people’s porches.

But George wasn’t a very good porch pirate either.

His first heist was a trap, and the glitterbomb exploded in his face.

“Welcome, Glitterbeard!” shouted everyone at the pub, laughing.

The next heist was a delivery from Ikea.

Miraculously, it was a ship.

George struggled with instructions and Allen wrenches for days.