George and the Northwest Passage

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.

His sextant wasn’t as much a navigation tool as it was a nutcracker.

He’d sweep the shells off of the maps and charts and shout “Oh, let’s go that way!”

One day, the ship was in the North Atlantic. The next day, he was in the North Pacific.

“Did we just discover the Northwest Passage?” asked the captain.

George looked over the maps and charts, turning them over and over in his hands.

“Hell if I know,” he said. “But can we stop somewhere to pick up more walnuts?”