George and the diversity officer

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.

“It’s because you’re a white, straight, cisgendered male,” said the ship’s Chief Diversity Officer. “You’re a privileged member of The Patriocracy.”

“When the shit did we get a Chief Diversity Officer?” muttered George.

“Diversity is our strength!” shouted the officer, who shoved George overboard. “Go hate elsewhere!”

While George swam for shore, the crew demanded living wages, unlimited vacation days, remote work, and a foosball table.

Anyone given an assignment would accuse their superior of racism, sexism, and homophobia.

As the ship headed for the rocks surrounding the harbor.