1. EachPod

#187 What if we focused less on self-care and more on self-nurture to progress our hoarding recovery?

Author
That Hoarder
Published
Fri 23 May 2025
Episode Link
https://infouidd.podbean.com/e/187-what-if-we-focused-less-on-self-care-and-more-on-self-nurture-to-progress-our-hoarding-recovery/


Self-care gets a lot of airtime these days, but I’ve started rethinking what it actually means, especially when you’re struggling with hoarding disorder. In this episode, I talk about why marketed, consumer-driven “self-care” just adds more pressure, and why nurturing yourself with compassion, connection, and practical routines is far more effective. Plus, I share some genuinely helpful, low-cost ways to support yourself without adding to the clutter - or your to-do list.



  • Self-Care in Modern Times

  • Evolution of the meaning of “self-care”:

  • The older, practical definition (basic hygiene, nourishment)

  • Current consumer-driven, extravagant interpretations

  • Critique of modern self-care commercialisation

  • Challenges of Hoarding and Mental Health Struggles

  • Emotional toll of hoarding disorder

  • Stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, grief

  • The exhausting process of trying to “fix” things

  • Daily stressors of living in a hoard

  • Feelings of failure, constant reminders, adrenaline spikes from unexpected visitors, tripping over items

  • The Real Purpose of Self-Care

  • Balancing negative emotions (stress, grief, trauma) with activities that nurture the soul

  • Evaluating popular self-care advice

  • The problem with universal, commercialised recommendations

  • Importance of individualised, inward-looking approaches

  • Introducing the Concept of "Self-Nurture"

  • How self-nurture differs from self-care

  • Greater compassion, sustainability, and personalisation

  • Emphasis on looking inwards for individual needs

  • Practical examples of self-nurturing activities

  • The Pitfalls of Commercialised Self-Care

  • The “shoulds” culture and guilt surrounding unmet self-care standards

  • Surface-level versus meaningful acts of care

  • How marketed solutions often do not address real needs

  • Guilt and shame when unable to practice recommended self-care (especially for those who hoard)

  • Consumer Culture and Self-Care

  • Self-care as a commodified experience: Encouragement to buy unnecessary products

  • How this affects people who hoard

  • Risk of exacerbating clutter by acquiring more as “self-care”

  • Focus on external fixes rather than internal wellbeing

  • The Benefits of Self-Nurture

  • Self-nurture as inexpensive or free

  • Focus on activities rather than acquisitions

  • Finding joy or restoration in simple practices (e.g., using what you have, accessing the library, running without specialised gear)

  • Compassionate Self-Nurture in Practice

  • Asking internal questions about core needs (physical, emotional, psychological)

  • Treating oneself as one would treat a person they love

  • Emphasis on gentle, non-critical, incremental progress

  • Drinking water for wellbeing rather than obligation

  • Time in nature, connecting with friends, creativity, self-acceptance

  • Building Emotional Security and Gentleness

  • Establishing emotional security as a core need

  • Managing self-criticism and reaching out for connection despite anxiety

  • Celebration of small wins and progress

  • Validating and acknowledging difficult feelings with compassion

  • Evaluating and Choosing Nurturing Activities

  • Key questions to ask: “Will this nurture me emotionally, psychologically, or physically?”

  • Differentiating between genuine needs and justifying unnecessary purchases

  • Avoidance of reinforcing negative patterns through acquisition

  • Developing a Personal Toolbox for Self-Nurture

  • Gathering and customising strategies that work

  • Routines and coping mechanisms

  • Taking stock of helpful techniques, personalising approaches

  • Recognising and valuing unique sources of restoration

  • Top Tip

  • DIY, low-cost tip for cleaning the dishwasher with household items

  • Encouragement to take any step, however small, towards self-nurture


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