#178 Growing up in a hoarded home: Sam’s story as the child of a Mum who hoards

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In this episode I chat with Sam, who speaks movingly about growing up with a mother who hoards. Now 28, Sam reflects on the claustrophobic environment, the impact on their self-esteem and organisation, and the ongoing journey to rebuild a relationship with food, space, and self-worth. Whether you're a hoarder, the child of somebody who hoards, or you know someone who is, Sam's story offers a vital perspective on living through - and beyond - the hoard.

• Sam’s experience growing up in a hoarded home


• Importance of understanding perspectives of those affected by hoarding


• Sam’s Childhood Experience


• Description of upbringing in a hoarded home


• Emotional impact and feelings of claustrophobia and anxiety


• Lack of emotional and physical space


• Experiences of shame and comparison with peers


• Coping Mechanisms and Effects on Daily Life


• Sam's view of their home as an obstacle course


• Impact of hoarding on family relationships


• Lack of privacy and its influence on personal development


• Impact on Self-Esteem and Mental Health


• Struggle with self-esteem and self-care


• Connection between environment and depression


• Feelings of negativity and isolation


• School and Social Interactions


• Effect on academic performance and organisational skills


• Challenges in completing schoolwork


• Experiences with friends visiting the home and related anxieties


• Adolescence and Growing Awareness


• Anger and frustration during teenage years


• Lack of external intervention and support


• Missed opportunities for professional help


• External Perception and Professional Insight


• Outside family and societal perceptions of hoarding


• Drip-feeding experiences to others and feeling of overwhelming others


• Relationship with Food and Nutrition


• Negative perceptions of food due to spoiling and smells


• Ongoing struggle with eating certain foods, particularly fruit


• Rebuilding a relationship with food as an adult


• Leaving the Home and Independence


• Sam’s experience and decision to move out at 20


• Challenges and processes involved in leaving the parental hoarded home


• Continued responsibilities in a second hoarded home


• Long-term Effects on Sam’s Adult Life


• Influence on career choice and support work with young carers


• Ongoing challenges with personal organisation and self-care


• Struggles with mental health and burnout


• Sam’s Relationship with Family


• Complex relationship dynamics with parents


• Lack of understanding from parents regarding Sam’s struggles and decisions


• Reflection on parental insight into hoarding and its effects on family


• Current Relationship with Hoarding and Cleaning


• Sam’s approach to possessions


• Emotional responses to cleaning and organising tasks


• Developing the skillset for maintaining an organised living space


• Message for Others Experiencing Similar Situations


• Encouragement for other young carers and children of hoarders


• Importance of self-worth and identity outside of hoarding stigmas


• Strategies for mental health and personal growth


• Final Thoughts and Reflections


• Reflections on how sharing and exploration helps understanding


• Hope for the interview to be beneficial to listeners with similar experiences