Inside BPD Idealization Does or Did the Borderline Love You? A.J. Mahari explains how you are not seen and heard in idealization either. The intense and fast relationship beginning with a person with BPD is creating a fantasy bond within a trauma bond. Untreated people with BPD can't love or attach to you. You are, to them, "Object Other Parent Representative within the unconscious repetition compulsion cycles of untreated borderlines.