I FLOODED MY HOUSE WITH ESPRESSO r/TodayIFuckedUp Reddit Stories

r TIFU TIFU by not realising I didn't have a master's degree TIFU by ending up on Fox News TIFU by accidentally becoming the villain in 40 kids’ morning Tried to boost my confidence with a flirty calendar reminder, accidentally shared it with coworkers, now they think I’m either smooth or slowly unraveling. Got super high at the mall, my friend dared me to ask a girl for her number, I somehow pulled it off, then immediately passed out from nerves and woke up to a crowd staring at me in Dunkin’ Donuts. I accidentally speedballed myself at work. I spent an hour taking and editing photos in my building’s laundry room with “Do Not Disturb” on. My family panicked when I didn’t answer, called 999 for a wellness check, and tracked my movements, which were just me trying to get good angles. I told them that if something actually happens to me and they need to show police photos of me, to actually send ones where I don’t look hideous. I made a joke at what I thought was a pair of joggers. It turned out one of the joggers was a thief and the other was a victim being actively mugged. My whole office brute forced chunky crap water to spray all over the inside of our building's janitor closet over the course of 2 days. TIFU by remembering to pack everything for a business trip but then forgetting my entire suitcase.

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