Supporting Work and Family Through Grief: A Father’s Experience

In this episode we hear from Andrew Lockhart, a father of six whose third child–his son Wilder– was stillborn in 2017. Andrew talks about how he supported his family while juggling work as he  grieved. We also hear from Brandon Drouillard, a pregnancy and infant loss educator who talks about how a father’s grief can be overlooked during stillbirth. Together, Andrew and Brandon give voice to the experiences dads have grieving their stillborn babies and supporting their families. 

Key Insights

[10:33] “We were really lucky. We got, we had access to a CuddleCot TM. We were able to  spend some time with Wilder and really process the loss of him.” 

• CuddleCotsTM provide continuous regulated cooling enabling families extended time to take  photos, create memories, welcome extended family, receive support and make arrangements  without feeling rushed. 

[20:38] “My name is Brandon Drouillard and I work for the Pregnancy and Infant Loss  Network as Education Coordinator and a pregnancy and infant loss educator”. 

• The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Network (PAIL) is an Ontario, Canada-based provincial program  that provides free, peer-led support to families who have experienced pregnancy loss at any  stage or the death of a baby up to 12 months of age. Operating under Sunnybrook Health  Sciences Centre DAN Women and Babies Program, PAIL Network offers various support  services, including community-based and online peer support groups, to help grieving families  connect and heal.  
• Read more about Brandon Drouillard, PAIL Network Education Coordinator.

[27:49] “There's not a lot of support out there, you know, for people who experience the loss of a child like this, like I can't even remember if Kim was able to get her maternity  benefits through EI at that point”.  

• Employment Insurance (EI) Maternity Benefits in Canada provide financial support for up to 15 weeks to eligible birth parents, including surrogates, who cannot work due to pregnancy and  childbirth.

Resources

• Pregnancy and Infant Loss Network Resource Library 
• Article: A grief ignored: narratives of pregnancy loss from a male perspective 
• Article: Men’s grief following pregnancy loss and neonatal loss: a systematic review and  emerging theoretical model 
• Book: The Way Men Heal 
• Book: Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding Diverse Grieving Styles 
• Book: Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back 
• Book: Loving Your Baby 
• Magazine: Still standing: A father’s grief 
• Website: Fatherly.com (search: “pregnancy loss”)