Stepping Outside – Step Eleven (Part 1)

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So, here we are at step number 11. As I was speaking about steps number eight, nine, and ten I kind of realized that there wasn’t a whole lot of application of those steps in my everyday life. Of course, it is important to remember those folks I had harmed, including those new, harmful things I might do today. It is also important, on a daily basis, to try to make amends to those folks I have harmed, whether in the past or recently. Step ten works with 8 & 9 as far as cleaning things up as I go along in life. After many years of working this program, I made amends, as best as I was able, to almost everyone who was on my eighth step list. There are some that I have not been able to make amends to because they have either died or I just don’t know how to find them. I am more concerned now making amends in my day-to-day life.

This step, step 11, however, is one that seems to pop up for me all day, every day. I seem to have an awareness going on, and my tendency is to speak to God day. Of course, I don’t go around mumbling or talking out loud to God, but I do have an ongoing, intermittent connection with my Spirit throughout the day. I certainly don’t want to sound like a crazy person here (although my wife may argue that point) but, at times, it’s almost like a three-way conversation between myself, my ego, and my Spirit. I seem to always be listening to have some awareness of what direction my Spirit wishes me to go, but sometimes there is pushback my ego and its pal, rationalization. At this point and time in my 12-step work, I am usually able to choose the direction of my Spirit over that of the desires of my humanity. I’ll talk about this more in the second part of the step, “praying only for knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry that out”.