Karen Saves The Universe: Part 3

Karen Embarks on a cure campaign.

Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.

Karen sighed, "Might as well. Let's go kill the libido of an entire civilization, Holland."

Holland
took her arm and soon the cell where she was held disappeared and
another space formed around them. Captain Hemsworth and several crew
members from the ship stood nearby, as well as Ensign Holland who was
still holding her arm, reassuringly. Looking around, Karen saw that they
were in what appeared to be a sound-booth of sorts. One crewmember
activated some equipment and moved one protruding tentacle closer to
Karen's mouth and another toward Captain Hemsworth's.

"Are
we ready, Ellis?" Captain Hemsworth asked, clearing his throat. Ellis
nodded and stepped back from the tentacles. Hemsworth tapped the end of
the tentacle and a booming noise reverberated around the room. He
cleared his throat several more times and straightened his collar.
"People of Priam! Your deliverance has come! You sent us forth among the
stars to find the cure to the horrid addiction of filth that has
infiltrated our minds and we have not failed you! We have dedicated our
lives to this effort, foregone having families, and any comforts of home
to bring you this salvation! Behold; The Karen!" he proclaimed,
gesturing for Karen to speak.

"Um;
hi?" Karen said, unsurely. Hemsworth glanced at Ellis who was reading
some type of display. Ellis frowned and motioned for her to continue
speaking. "Um; my name is Karen;"

"Hi Karen;” several crew members responded unanimously before Captain Hemsworth cut them off with a gesture.

"Um;
I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to say. I heard you're all having
some troubles. I'm sorry. I know what that's like. I've had some
troubles, too. I married the wrong person; someone who didn't really
love me. I wasn't brave and I tried to avoid trouble too much. I had
four kids, but they grew up seeing me treated badly, so they don't
really see me as being worth much; if they don't need me to be a mom
anymore, what good am I to them? I love them, but; I wish I had done
more with my life. Now, I'm getting a divorce; and now that I'm in my
50's, I'm not young and beautiful anymore, so it's like I'm invisible to
most people. My body hurts more than it used to; and I'm afraid most
days. I don't know what's going to happen to me. Everything keeps
changing and I don't know where I belong. I feel like I've failed all
the time. But, they said that maybe I could help you, so; I hope I can
help make things better for you. I'd like to see something good come out
of all this," Karen said, wiping some tears off her cheeks. Holland
stepped next to her and took her hand. She smiled and leaned her head on
his shoulder.

"Ellis?" Hemsworth asked.

Ellis
looked up from the display, a disconcerted expression on his face. "I
don't understand;” he murmured, leaning down and feverishly working on
the equipment. "They're hearing it. I know they're hearing it;”

"It's
not working? She just spoke more than it took to knock out the entire
bridge crew! What do you mean it's not working?" Hemsworth said,
frustrated. Karen looked at Holland, who simply shrugged.

Captain
Hemsworth frowned with determination and motioned to Karen, "Speak
again. Louder. Talk about the cobb salad! Men, brace yourselves!" he
ordered.

"Cobb
salad?" Karen repeated, surprised. "Oh, well, um; it's just yummy. It's
got hard boiled eggs, tomatoes, bacon, and avocado on a bed of lettuce;
chives and bleu cheese over the top is good, too. The nice thing is
that all the ingredients are put into neat little rows across the
lettuce, so you can choose exactly what you want in each bite! It's not
just a big mess like other salads. You know, I could make you one ; do
you guys have avocadoes?" she said enthusiastically, looking to Holland.

Holland
immediately began looking up something on his hand-held computer.
"Av-o-ca-does; do they yield their young willingly, or do we need to;"

"What
the hell is going on???" Captain Hemsworth yelled, grabbing Holland's
ear and looking inside. "Holland! You're not wearing protection! Why
aren't you unconscious on the floor?"

"Oh, um; they were kind of uncomfortable, and they made it hard to hear what she was remembering, and;"

"You
Remembered With The Karen? What Is Wrong With You?" Hemsworth shouted,
before calming himself. "Momoa, get some caffeline ready. I need to hear
her again," he said, bracing himself as he pulled what looked like
slugs out of his ears. "Speak again about the salad;”

"Okay,
uh; most like to eat it with a vinaigrette? I think that gets to be a
bit too much if there's bleu cheese on top, though. Sometimes I'll get
it with ranch or something creamy because then;"

"What
the hell, Holland! What did you do to The Karen? I barely feel
anything!" Hemsworth yelled, grabbing Holland by the uniform.

"Um; I don't know; we just talked and remembered; you know, she's really nice, if you get to;"

"Dammit,
You've Broken The Karen, Holland! How Are We Supposed To;" Captain
Hemsworth yelled until he was interrupted by a knock nearby.

Lieutenant
Ellis activated a control on his display and a hole formed in the wall
of the room. An assembly of Priamites entered the room, as smoothly as
if they were rolled in on a platform together. The crew of the Onan
immediately fell prostrate on the floor before them. Karen, unwilling to
lie face-down on a floor she hadn't cleaned herself, looked around
uncomfortably and gave the assembly a small wave. One Priamite raised
her hand to return the gesture but was quickly stopped by her neighbor.

"Welcome,
crew of the Onan," one of the assembly said, followed by the rest of
the assembly nodding agreeably. "We are most appreciative of all your;
efforts. We realize that you have dedicated several of your lifetimes to
freeing our civilization from the throes of pornographic addiction, and
for your many sacrifices, we thank you," the speaker said, then glanced
around uncomfortably at the others. "Most unexpectedly, ah; while the
Eros Curse was most distressing to the initial generations, the
subsequent generations acclimated to it rather quickly. Then, as
fashions changed, the Eros Curse became more of a joke, really; dance
mixes were made, memes;”

"Excuse me?" Captain Hemsworth said, lifting his face from the floor.

"I
mean, sure, the Eros Curse is still out there. It's just that it's ju