Brenda Adelman: Forgiving My Killer Dad

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In this episode, Esmie and Brenda discuss:

• Grew up in Brooklyn, with Jewish want to be Italian father who taught her how to shoot a gun at ten years old
• Parents had a very, tumultuous, love, and hate relationship
• Her parents did not pay attention to her, and so she got into a little bit of trouble
• She was an emotional caretaker at a very young age for her parents
• In high school, hanging out with the wrong people, experimented with drugs, drinking, and sneaking into clubs.
• Her father murdered her mom and married her aunt
• As an actress, she started a one-woman show. Initially, she was scared of being judged because she had so much shame.
• She went into denial that her father murdered her mom
• She went through a dark time of loneliness. She broke up with her fiance because she felt unlovable and didn't want to be seen. She would cry for hours every day because of the shame she felt

Key takeaway:

• She has a one-woman show called my Brooklyn Hamlet which is a source for healing for her
• She worked on finding compassion for her father, so she stops judging him. Because that judgment comes right back at her
• She has a three-step forgiveness process, and the first step is moving out in denial, and into acceptance of what is
• She learned to forgive her father and her aunt
• Be kind to yourself. Be loving to yourself. Look at the choices you've made in life, where you think you could've made a better choice.

Brenda Adelman is an award-winning actress, recipient of the Hero of Forgiveness award and has been interviewed on over 100 radio shows, podcasts and TV shows including Fox TV news and NPR. She’s performed her critically acclaimed one-woman show, My Brooklyn Hamlet, based on her life story and spoken on how to use your life story to heal, inspire others and make money for over 12,000 people worldwide. She is a speaker, coach and solo show mentor with clients presenting their stories on stages in the US, Canada and Europe

• "But what I do with my clients is I give them something called free form writing, which I learned in that master's program. It's different from journaling because you're never rereading what you wrote because otherwise it re-anchors the emotional energy back into your body. But it is literally how I released layers and layers and layers of anger toward my father. " ― Brenda Adelman

Contact: Brenda

Contact Esmie:

Esmie's New book, How To Embrace Challenges: Step Into Your Power: https://esmielawrence.com/books-by-esmie/

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Youtube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeQpiIow5rAACyn2eaWRgJA

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Audio production by Brian Calkins Podcast Mechanic