When you’re in conversation with someone, you can change the structure a little bit by receiving 90% of the time. Listen, receive. The idea with “90/10” is to move from producing to receiving what’s arising. Don’t add anything. You’ll be surprised at how much difficulty this can clear up. It will take awhile, perhaps quite awhile, before you can actually receive what’s right in front of you. See if you can notice the way you add on to things. Shikantaza will help train your mind to do that.
https://youtu.be/wK9Dze1weHY