It's Not Going to be Easy - 05-25-22 by Sokuzan - SokukoJi.org/donate

The most important thing you can do is train your mind so that you can see the conflicting emotions about what your own life is fundamentally about. Don’t get your understanding from anyone. It needs to come through your consciousness, your awareness. You will not be able to figure this out. You actually have to see it yourself, and it’s not going to be easy. As the Buddha said, "Life is suffering." Begin by looking at what’s in front of you. Be willing to not know what you’re doing and go into the darkness of your own mind.
https://youtu.be/3sIMjzxg6UA