Defending our Hearts - SL Insights Ep 1

Recently, Byron shared a new idea with Francine. Instead of encouragement, Francine responded with “when will you get time to do that?!” The conversation immediately terminated in gloomy withdrawal. Afterwards we unpacked the discussion. Francine explained that she was trying to protect her heart from future disappointment. Byron revealed how he feared he would be blamed for the strain his work puts on our relationship.

Sigh. We wish it wasn’t so, but clearly after 30+ years of marriage we are still very much trying to master the art of relationship. In this case we were both reacting defensively. Defensiveness is a self-protective response to a perceived judgement, criticism, rejection, or risk of future disappointment.

https://smartloving.org/defending-our-hearts/