Help! I have a 17-year-old daughter!

Dear Cary, 

I am a twice-divorced 54-year-old woman entrepreneur who supports herself through the practice of her craft.  I have a 17-year-old daughter. She is bright, creative, articulate, sleeps a lot and talks to her friends and boyfriend on the phone, is an artist, cartoonist, and enjoys studying underwater hydrothermal vents. Senior year is around the corner and the world has gone mad ... Time seems to be collapsing and she appears to be clueless about what to do with her life. ... I never insisted she do anything she wasn’t comfortable with and now it seems she is uncomfortable being in the real world. ... When I try to talk to her about it she becomes defensive and everything I say comes out wrong. ...

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