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Bonus: Dare - How to Make Being an Idiot Your Superpower for Ultimate Confidence

Author
Michelle Hands
Published
Thu 04 Sep 2025
Episode Link
https://shows.acast.com/she-who-dares-wins/episodes/bonus-dare-how-to-make-being-an-idiot-your-superpower-for-ul

In this week’s She Who Dares Wins Thursday Dare, Michelle flips the idea of confidence on its head. Instead of striving to look polished and flawless, she argues that true confidence comes from being willing to look like an idiot. Through her own story of stepping into a CrossFit gym for the first time, Michelle shows how embracing clumsy, awkward beginnings can lead to growth, self-compassion, and real confidence. You’ll also hear the science behind why we think everyone’s watching us (they’re not), and four practical dares to help you lean into imperfection and boost your confidence.


Key Takeaways:

  • Confidence isn’t about owning the room or being perfect—it’s about being comfortable looking like an idiot.
  • The spotlight effect makes us think everyone is watching us, but in reality, people are too busy thinking about themselves.
  • Exposure therapy: the more you step into scary or uncomfortable situations, the easier it gets.
  • Self-compassion is key: everyone makes mistakes, and it doesn’t make you less worthy.
  • Four dares to try:
  1. Do something badly on purpose.
  2. Share a failure story.
  3. Switch up negative self-talk.
  4. Call out your mistakes as learning moments.


Timestamps:

  • 0:00 – Dare of the week: act like an idiot.
  • 0:46 – Why confidence is not what you think.
  • 1:11 – Michelle’s story: joining a CrossFit gym as a total beginner.
  • 2:33 – The choice: withdraw or lean into discomfort.
  • 3:25 – Redefining confidence as being okay with looking clumsy.
  • 3:59 – The science: the spotlight effect.
  • 4:23 – Exposure therapy: retraining your brain.
  • 4:46 – Self-compassion and calling out mistakes.
  • 5:40 – The four dares to build confidence.
  • 6:28 – Key takeaway: confidence = comfort in imperfection.
  • 7:07 – Newsletter & Patreon shout-out.

👉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/shewhodareswins/membership (Bonus episodes for less than a coffee a month!)

👉 Substack: https://shewhodareswins.substack.com (Full insights & key takeaways from every episode!)

👉 She Who Dares Wins Newsletter: www.shewhodareswins.com

🚨 10% OFF all SWDW clothing! Use code POD10 at www.shewhodareswins.com


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