011: Is your name really just your brand? Living up to the name you were given.

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I went to a baby naming. What the hell is that you say? It’s a Jewish tradition. A relatively recent Jewish tradition for girls.  When boys get circumcised, 8 days after they’re born, they get their Hebrew name which connects them to their Jewish identity. Girls aren’t circumcised (of course) but more recently, like in the last 50 or 60 years, I think, girls have a Hebrew naming ceremony. We went to this naming…It was lovely.  And at a bar! Even better!  

I find this tradition beautiful and meaningful because for the better part of my life I fucking hated my name!  Now that I’ve lived for a thousand years, I think it’s grown on me, or I’ve grown into redefining it but I always felt like the only “Carole” people knew were someone’s 80 year old Aunt and maybe the twin sister of Claire. It felt very bland to me. I don't really consider myself a bland person.  When I was younger, I was worried I was bland.  And bland in New York does not bode well!

At his stage in life, I don't think anybody's bland per say.  Everybody’s got something. And if somebody were to say that to me, that they felt like they were bland or their name was bland, I would sit there and point out all the reasons why they weren't, because I definitely talk to others far more kindly, than I talk to myself. Nonetheless that's sort of how I I felt about my name. 

I wanted to be exotic and mysterious and interesting and have an “a” at the end! A precious vowel like Gabriella, Andrea or Sophia did…Carole could not be more consonant heavy. The “e” at the end gives a little spin in writing but otherwise, to me, the last sound “L” in Carole stood for LOOSER. Sigh.  

When I started thinking about what I wanted to name my daughter, as a single mom I didn't have to negotiate with anybody. My choice entirely. Score 1 for the single mom. I feel like I did right by her with her name, I'm sure at some point she will be talking to a therapist about how I messed that up for her, but hopefully she’ll eventually be happy. And that her name, amongst many other things gives her confidence.

That's one of the more important themes for me as a parent.  I want to make sure she's a confident kid, so she’ll be a confident adult.

I didn't feel confident I guess, and I don't think that my name helped. I Don't necessarily think it harmed it, but it didn’t make me feel better.  

Now that I’m older I can see how it aligns. In my mind, “Carole” may have been bland but she’s also sturdy, strong, steady, could see your side of things, and is someone you can count on.

Truth, you can count on me.  You always have been able to count on me. I'm not a wild person.  I've had some wild experiences but ultimately, fundamentally, I'm not like a wild person. I take risks. I love calculated risks.  Change.  I love trying new things. I find it invigorating but I also like traditions. I'm not living a “traditiona

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