My Heart Right Now

It’s still raw. All statements are my own personal thoughts and feelings, not everything maybe be true or explained in the best possible way. There are greater people out there that can explain these things better than I can. For example, when I said the part about the Jews crying in the desert over not wanting to go to israel when the spies came back with a bad report (parshas shlach) and I said “G-d said now I’ll give you something to cry about”, That is just my simple baseline not deep understanding. I know there are deeper answers to that story that showcase that Gd is not out to get us or ever going to do anything bad to us out of malice. He is perfect, and more loving than any thing we can imagine, we just simply cannot fathom it. But we can express our pain.