EP21: Ellen Boeder on Motherhood, Feminism, and the Real Costs of Overvaluing Independence

What Ellen Shares:

• Her exploration of feminism and motherhood
• Her new understanding of career after motherhood
• How the cultural standards of having to do it all, alone, sets mothers up for burnout
• How burnout and health issues allowed her learn how to receive help and collaborate with community
• Her desire to add motherhood, bodies, and intuition to the feminist conversation; plus giving women the permission and agency to do what’s right for them

What You’ll Hear:

• How Ellen’s work shifted when she became a mother (2:30)
• How her feminism has shifted with motherhood (4:24)
• How motherhood has been seen as an oppressive institution (5:50)
• Is feminism about everything other than motherhood? (6:20)
• Feelings of disempowerment/invisibility after becoming a mother (7:53)
• Who am I/what is my value in the world now that I’m a mother? (8:40)
• The plan vs. the reality, after having a baby (9:53)
• “I thought I would have a child and keep going in the same direction” (11:37)
• Andrea O’Reilly’s books on feminism & motherhood (13:21)
• Motherhood as an institution or mothering as a female experience (15:13)
• The hormonal differences between men and women as it relates to work (17:18)
• Burn-out and depletion in mothers (18:02)
• Self-care as rebellion (23:05)
• Prioritizing when you’re in a sprint (25:25)
• Balancing desires & motherhood (30:52)
• Self-worth & mothering (32:30)
• Creating a home life where everyone feels nourished (34:00)
• The hard work of mothering that goes unnoticed (34:48)
• American values of individuation (36:43)
• Over-valuing independence has a cost (38:45)
• How much can I do in collaboration? (39:40)
• The stress of being overly self-reliant (42:35)
• Attachment styles and sex (44:17)
• What’s missing from feminism now (46:40)
• How do we give women the support to choose what’s right for them? (48:06)
• Throwing out the word feminism (51:10)
• Unrealistic expectations in postpartum & motherhood (54:00)
• Being present for a child is an enormous gift (55:20)

Find her here:

http://ellenboeder.com/

https://relationshipschool.net/