22 - Obedience in Marriage? Father Paul Scalia Says It's Not What You Think It Is

During a marriage retreat, Father Paul Scalia says obedience is important in a marriage, but not in the way you might think. It’s not a slavish obedience to your spouse…or the crushing of free will, but free will with a destination.

On Saturday, July 7 from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Holy Trinity parish, in Gainesville, Fr. Paul Scalia, Episcopal Vicar for Clergy, hosted a Retreat Day for Married Couples.

220 couples attended the enriching and reflective day, which included talks, Adoration, confession, spiritual time spent with the spouse, and concluded with Mass.

Fr. Scalia gave talks on poverty, chastity and obedience (the three evangelical counsels of the consecrated life), and how they exist analogously in marriage. These vows are, of course, typically made by religious in community, though they are present in an analogous way in marriage.

Obedience: Just as a religious takes a vow of obedience to his provincial, so do husband and wife make a vow to submit to each other (always in their distinctly masculine or feminine way), for the sake of their one flesh union. For husbands, this means being intimately involved, withstanding the temptation to be distant. For wives, this means respecting the headship of the man, foregoing the temptation to be too much in control.