384. Captain Save-A-Hoe & Queen Change-A-Dick: Lifelong Patterns That Harm Our Relationships with Kelly Gardner

It’s tempting to want to play the role of “superhero” in a relationship - the guardian, the savior, the teacher, or the protector. But over-prioritizing their needs over your own often has a villainous effect on a healthy relationship. Because if all of your focus is on their safety, wellbeing and nurturing, you then neglect what’s more important - your own. 

My partner, Kelly Gardner, a Relationship Coach and Men’s Group Facilitator, and I have identified two (comically labeled) archetypes of the kinds of superheroes we often see in relationships:

-Captain Save-A-Hoe: the man here to “save” and “heal” a broken partner.

-Queen Change-A-Dick: the woman on a mission to help the lost boy grow into a great man.

Today we’ll explain why you need to stop prioritizing your partner’s needs over your own, and how the foundation of a healthy relationship is really built on focusing on yourself, first.

In this episode, Kelly and I are talking about:

• Why men often want to feel like a “savior” in a relationship
• Power dynamics in relationships
• Why women often put aside their own needs in a relationship
• How to balance giving and receiving in a relationship
• Expanding your sense of self in a relationship
• Waiting to be chosen by someone
• How prioritizing yourself first contributes to a better relationship
• Managing sexual energy inside and outside your relationship
• Including your partner in your life
• How to make your partner feel chosen

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Website: https://www.kellygardner.com 

Instagram @iamkellygardner

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CONNECT WITH EMILY

Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together

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Instagram: @emilygoughcoach

Email: [email protected]          

REFERENCES

Episode 377 | Hope After Heartbreak: Our Love Story With Kelly Gardner

Episode 359 | Building A Community Of Better & More Present Fathers With Kelly Gardner

Episode 364 | Not All Men, But Almost Always With Traver Boehm Of Man UNcivilized