Two situations that need to happen before I can say they are a forever partner

Written 9/11/2025.

I get advice, lots of advice from my friends on my dating life. I am blessed because I’m not the smartest person when it comes to dating. I am a guy. That’s no excuse, however I start about 50 yards behind a woman in this area and need to work hard to catch up.

I was chatting with a friend and mentioned two more things that have to happen before I can say this is my forever person. NOTE: I do have a list of wants, and a list of can’t stands. This came from a male friend who found his perfect partner.

You already know about making me a sandwich. Here are two more things that need to happen.

First, we need to travel together. Travel brings out the best and worst in people because there are always things that don’t go according to plan. A flight delay, a flat tire, the hotel you booked gave away your room. Add to that long travel days where you are tired and strung out. This is the perfect storm to see how that other person handles adversity. BTW, she gets to see how I handle adversity and lack of sleep too. It is a two-way street.

Does your person take it in stride? Do they turn into the ultimate b***h (or b*****d in my case)? Do they move closer to you or further away? Do they rely only on themselves or only on you or is it a team approach? These ways are really important.

Next is how you fight with one another. If you never fight, then something is wrong. If you never fight, then either that person or you are compliant because we ALL have differences of opinion.

When you have a disagreement, do they focus on the issue? Do they take it personally and start to call you names? Do they weaponize everything you’ve said in the past and throw it back in your face? Do they listen with love and reflect back your issue and feelings?

When you are dating, both people are on their best behavior. You want to find the real person before you fall head over heels in love with them. Before you marry them. There are many movies that show this. I remember The Parent Trap from the 1990s. The woman was a gold-digger and was sweetness and light until her true colors came out while camping (and with a little “encouragement” from the twins).

So those are two things that must happen before a person is moved to the forever category. Let me know the tests you use to make sure your person is marriage material.

Blessings to you.

Robert

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