There have been a lot of deaths lately. What does this teach us on how to live well?

Written 9/5/2025.

I just read a lovely article entitled Ancient Wisdom: How to Die Well (click on the link to go to the article).

Riding motorcycles, I’m confronted with death on a weekly basis. We ride because we love to. We accept the risk and do it anyway.

Within the last month no less than 4 people have passed away, two of which are adult children of friends and clients.

We all treat death as if it’s something new and unique for each impacted person. The reality is that it is the second biggest event that happens in everyone’s life. Everyone is born; everyone dies. EVERYONE.

Before I took my motorcycle trip around the lake, I created a one pager that essentially has my “keys to the kingdom” on it. It lists where and how to get my passwords, pin numbers, accounts, etc. Is it perfect? No, but it comprises over 95% of my stuff and allows my executor to find everything (I don’t have hidden accounts or anything like that).

I am also facing my dad’s pending poof as he’s homebound and under 24-hour care. This has brought up a lot of frustration with how the system in the United States works. My parents did everything right financially. Had a large nest egg that should see them through until they die (never run out of money). Now they pay tens of thousands a month for my dad’s care because my mom doesn’t want him in a nursing home (I support my mom with this decision). They are at the end of their money and will dip into the equity of the house to make it another two years until they have to sell the house and move somewhere (assuming my dad doesn’t die sooner). If my dad didn’t need the care, that expense wouldn’t exist. Even in a nursing home, the cost would still be around $15,000/mo all in.

So, when a person is most vulnerable and least able to make an income is when expenses are the highest. That’s pretty shitty to me. Do I have a solution? Nope. It still sucks.

This has brought up a lot of emotions in myself over the whole situation which I have been exploring. Grief, loss, frustration, anger, no ability to make any difference. These emotions have been good. I need to better understand myself in light of what’s going on.

People avoid death and hallucinate that everyone will live forever, even after a devastating diagnosis. It’s just not true (and that is a good thing). We need to treat death with the respect it deserves, including sitting beside our loved ones during the final days of their life.

My take on death is that it’s good. It makes way for the next generation. No matter how bad something is, the person implementing it will eventually be replaced. A dictator for 60 years will die leaving space for their successor. In Illinois, many of us waited until Mike Madigan finally left his place as the Speaker of the House. He controlled the House for decades and there was nothing we could do to implement any change without his blessing (he was later convicted of ten counts of bribery, wire fraud, and Travel Act violations - we all knew what was going on, but as he was so powerful, nobody could do anything).

Sometimes I believe that allowing people to end their lives (if competent to make the choice or meeting criteria they, themselves set when competent) would be the most humane way of going. That said, I am no philosopher, moralist, or anyone who has the mental prowess to make an argument for or against. I’m just stating how I feel.

What are your thoughts on death and dying?