Are We Ever Really Grown? Generations, Adulthood & the Lie of Turning 40

We step into the messy truth about adulthood, rites of passage, and why so many of us hit 40 feeling… not quite grown.

Aiwan opens with Kendra Lindsay’s viral post - a rallying call to join the “Council of Elders” instead of clinging to youth - which ultimately ruffled the feathers of a legion of women in their 40s. From there, we dive into the uncomfortable question: Where did we get the idea that 40 isn’t old? And who exactly benefits from allowing us to believe that, at 40, we are still really youthful?

The conversation spirals into Blindboy’s take on the infantilisation of millennials - from the deregulation of children’s advertising in the 1980s, to the way nostalgia and “adult baby” culture can soothe us… while distracting us from demanding what we deserve.

Tamanda shares her own feelings about approaching a milestone age: how she carries all the responsibilities of an adult, but none of the financial security promised to us if we worked hard and played by the rules. Aiwan reflects on getting past the big 40, growing up outside of commercial youth culture, the rites of passage she did experience, and why she believes adulthood is something we should step into rather than avoid.

Together, we ask what happens when capitalism needs to keep us “forever young”, just so it can hold on to its happy and willing consumers - and what it takes to claim your place as a fully-fledged adult in a system that keeps moving the goalposts.

In this episode:

• Are We Ever Really Grown? The truth about turning 40, rites of passage, and the “Council of Elders”
• Blindboy on millennials, nostalgia, and how childhood marketing still shapes our adulthood
• Tamanda on reaching 40 with responsibilities, but without the markers of security her parents’ generation had
• Aiwan on growing up outside the commercial toy culture, and how the protectionist values of the Church set her up for stepping into adulthood
• How selling to us has become a way of silencing our demands
• The case for reclaiming intergenerational community and collective adulthood

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