What Perfectionism Really Is and Where It Comes From

Welcome to Episode 1 of Soul Recovery: Breaking Free from Perfectionism.

In this opening episode, host Gary Lougher lays the foundation for the series by redefining perfectionism—not as a character trait, but as a trauma response.

Drawing from his personal journey, professional experience as a trauma recovery coach, and insights from his book Rewilding Your Soul, Gary explores the surprising roots of perfectionism: how it often forms in childhood, not from neglect or abuse, but from praise, pressure, misattunement—or meaning we created as children trying to stay safe and loved.

You’ll also hear:

A trauma-informed definition of perfectionism

Why well-intentioned praise can backfire

How trauma is shaped by perception, not just events

Gary’s story of letting go of blame and reconnecting with his father

7 of the most common developmental roots of perfectionism

Why understanding matters more than blaming—and how it opens the door to healing

“Perfectionism didn’t come from nowhere. It came from somewhere. And now, you get to ask: Is this belief still true? Is it even mine?”

🔜 Coming Up in Episode 2:

We’ll explore what a trauma response really is—and why your nervous system may still be reacting to the past, even when your mind says “you should be over it.”

🛠 Resources & Mentions:

Gary’s book: Rewilding Your Soul

Heroic Kids program (for deeper parent-child connection)

Song quote: The Living Years by Mike + the Mechanics

💬 Let’s Stay Connected:

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, share it with someone you love, and leave a review.

And if you’re curious about coaching, creative healing, or breaking free from generational patterns—you can learn more at www.2ndAscent.com