102 The self-talk survival guide

You always pay attention to what you say to yourself. What say you about you? If your self-talk could use some help, this is your survival guide.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Søren Kierkegaard:

“Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts.” 

In this episode, Leary and Armin discuss self-talk and how it influences our beliefs about ourselves and others, our behaviors, and the results we see in our lives. They share some practical suggestions on how we can reshape destructive thinking into constructive thinking, and approach life’s challenges in healthy ways.

Quotes from the show:

• “We believe what we tell ourselves.” —Leary


• “Our brain is always working. Most of the time it’s wandering.” —Leary


• “We form self-perceptions that become limiting beliefs.” —Leary


• “And then they become limiting behaviors that create very limiting results.” —Armin


• “Researchers have speculated that about 80% of our internal dialogue is negative.” —Leary


• “Even if the interaction is positive from the other person, we might think it’s negative, if that’s what we’re looking for.” —Armin


• “We unconsciously are looking [for] things that fit our perception. We don’t see the things that don’t fit our perception. When we see the things that fit the perception… it reinforces that view.” —Leary


• “We often don’t give [ourselves] the time to re-think how we’ve re-wired our thinking.” —Leary


• “We have the ability to change. We’re volitional. We can change our thought processes, but we need an outside perspective to help us with that.” —Leary


• “We need other people to challenge our assumptions. We need to surround ourselves with good truth intake through what we read and by engaging with people who are healthier in their thinking than we might be.” —Leary


• “Carol Dweck said, ‘Add “yet” to your negative self-talk.’ …If you say, ‘Ugh, I can’t do this,’ she says, ‘change that mindset by adding one simple word to the end: “yet.” ‘I can’t do this, yet.'” —Armin


• “And here’s how I’m going to do it.” —Leary

This week’s Challenge Me:

When you experience a challenge that threatens to undo you, turn your thinking in an inquisitive direction. Ask yourself, “How can I make this happen?” Then list five ways you can tackle it.

So, what do you think? (Pun intended.) Share your thoughts and comments with us below.

Resources mentioned in or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:

• Dan Pink’s book, To Sell is Human.


• Leary Gates’ review of To Sell is Human.