You Can't Rely On Only One Person For Everything - Unhealthy Dependencies

We cannot expect only one person in our lives (including our spouse) to shoulder all of our problems, struggles & burdens. It's too much to bear. We need a network of people for support. I'm giving 5 reasons why this is true in this episode.

Show Notes:
Last week I had a mental health crisis. It sounds so weird to call it that, but that’s what it’s called when you start to deteriorate in your mind & are falling more and more into depression and can’t figure your crap out. It was a true crisis that almost required outside help, but luckily didn’t. But part of the reason I was dealing with this crisis was because I put too much reliance & dependency on one person in my life.

I’ll be honest with you, it was really painful to hear in the moment, but my husband told me point blank that it was too much for him to handle everything I was dealing with. Of course, he tried to comfort me & encourage me as I was sliding deeper into my depressive state, but it wasn’t enough. And I don’t have any friends close enough to call & talk to them about what I was feeling. So naturally, I was really lonely & my husband was the only one I could see being helpful. But it was too much of a burden for him and I don’t blame him.

I’ve felt that way in the past when he has been going through stuff, but being a people pleaser, I carried the burden as my own & seemed to make it through. And just because I didn’t speak up doesn’t mean I’m better or stronger in anyway. It actually means I am weaker in upholding boundaries & knowing what I should bear & what I shouldn’t. It also wasn’t as bad with him than me because he has parents & friends to call. So there was a bit more balance.

And that’s one of the key points to remember. There needs to be balance. If there isn’t balance in your relationships in regards to how much need to put on someone to help you, be there for you, understand your problems, comfort you when you’re down & support you as you heal, it WILL start to fall apart.

When you rely on one person for everything in your life, the relationship will start to suffer. And this doesn’t HAVE to be a romantic relationship. This can be a friendship or mentorship, too. It can happen in any relationship where you only go to one person for all of your needs or all of your needs in one area. And when this becomes too much, you risk unhealthy dependencies, power dynamics & separation.

Today I want to share with you 5 Reasons You Can’t Rely On One Person for Everything (Including Your Spouse):

1. You Lose Your Independence. 
2. Excessive Emotional Weight on the Relationship. 
3. You’ll Stunt Personal Growth. 
4. Building a Network of Support Creates Security. 
5. Unhealthy Dependencies Can Turn Into Codependent Relationships.

Thank you so much for listening & supporting me! I appreciate every single one of you!

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