Why Are You So Busy? - Staying Busy to Feel Worthy & Accepted

You can be busy because you got a lot of stuff to do, but often we will keep ourselves busy, on purpose, because we believe it serves us in some way. But let's actually get to the bottom of why you're keeping yourself so busy.

Show Notes:
I’m sure I’m not the first to experience this. I’m not the first to keep myself busy to feel alive and fulfilled & like I’m worth something because I have things to do. Many people keep themselves booked & busy to fill that emptiness & longing to be worthy to others. We want to feel important & in demand. When really, if we examine who we REALLY are & all that we do, we would see we are worthy just being alive & who we are. We don’t need to overcompensate to be worthy to others.

Just as I mentioned in my personal experience, if you stay too busy for too long, you could increase anxious feelings & stress, which can lead to burnout. But sometimes staying busy can be a result of first being restless. Your anxiety could already be high, leading to restlessness, which then leads to staying busy, even when you’re exhausted because you feel like you HAVE to do something. High anxiety can cause your body to be in a constant state of fight or flight, even without imminent danger. So you end up doing the most for no real reason.

Staying busy can even be seen as a coping mechanism. You keep your schedule so full that you don’t have time to think about any problems that need solving, any emotions that need to be unpacked or any personal growth that needs attention. Staying busy is your way of hiding from all of those things & more.

I do what to address the idea that staying busy can help keep your mind healthy. I know this is a common suggestion for elderly folks and can see how this would be helpful as our minds age. It’s the idea that you are still challenging your brain despite everything else feeling like it’s slowing down. Or the studies that show those that stay busy are happier. But those studies are more about doing something rather than nothing. Not over-committing. And I agree with both of these because neither is the type of busyness I am talking about. 

The type of busyness I am talking about is the kind that is done for the wrong reasons. Because you can genuinely be busy & it’s not an issue. You have kids involved in all the kids, you work multiple jobs, you do volunteer work because you truly enjoy it. That all makes sense. And those activities can even foster happiness because you’re not doing it for a payout in the end. 

If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know when you’re busy because you got stuff to do and when you’re staying busy on purpose. And when you’re engaging in the latter, I want you to question yourself to better understand your purpose for doing so to get to the root of the issue. So, why are you staying busy?

1. Because you need the distraction from other things in your life.
2. Because it makes you feel important & respected.
3. Because you’re a people pleaser & feel guilty about not doing enough.
4. Because you only get validation, praise & appreciation when you’re helping others.
5. Because you’re afraid you’ll miss out on something if you’re not involved.

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