How to Know Where Your Anger Comes From - Origins of Anger

Learning how to deal with your anger is really important, but you'll be able to manage it better if you know where it originates from. Here are 5 tips on how to determine where your anger comes from.

Show Notes:

Looking back, I think a lot of my anger stemmed from not being truly seen by others, not getting enough attention from my parents, feeling like I couldn’t ask for help and failing to hit my own (and others) unrealistic expectations. And I’m not saying I am directly BLAMING these things on why I experienced anger, but it definitely contributed.

I’m not sure what spurred the desire to talk about anger this week, but I know it’s an important topic. A lot of us have anger we don’t understand or feel like we don’t know how to control, so I know it’s always helpful to discuss it & help ourselves be more in tune with our own anger. This week, I plan to talk about how we determine where our anger comes from & what we can do to manage our anger. Today we will start with the former.

As with most things, the journey to discovering where a mindset and/or behavior comes from can take time. If you’re new to self-awareness, it could take a lot longer than you want because you have to figure out the best way for you to become more cognizant of what you’re thinking & doing & then spending time better understanding it. But even if you’re not new to being self-aware, if it’s a subject you haven’t breached before, you might need more time to dig into it & allow yourself to be honest about it all. Just know that you can take your time.

When it comes to understanding where your anger comes from, you’re going to need to look into multiple sources. And I’ll share those tips on what to do for that discovery, but first I want to mention that sometimes we can see the need for anger in our lives and might use these reasons as excuses to be angry more than we might need to be.

Sometimes anger can be seen as necessary when setting boundaries with others & asserting ourselves when expressing our needs. I think that if we aren’t aware of how we’re acting, this can take on an aggressive tone. Something to be aware of. Classically, some opt to use anger as an expression to release pent-up emotions & be free from emotional burdens. As long as you’re doing this in a way that doesn’t hurt someone else, you should be good. The one I find most interesting is how anger can be used to validate ourselves when we feel wronged or mistreated. This can be really helpful to know if we typically hide away our emotions or feel we can’t express anger. You know I believe we should acknowledge & accept all emotions, but that doesn’t mean taking any actions with that anger.

Here are 5 tips on How to Determine Where Your Anger Comes From:

1. Identify Your Triggers. 
2. Reflect on Childhood Experiences. 
3. Use Mindfulness as a Base Line. 
4. Determine How Often You Project or Blame Others. 
5. Ask Yourself What You’re Afraid of.

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